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Old 05-03-2013, 04:00 PM   #1
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You Might Be A Yankee If......

We all hear those "you might be a redneck if..." jokes, so what about the opposite?

I saw this and got to thinking about the RC Cola and Moonpie discussion we had the other week in another forum.

So this is dedicated to all my friends on the wrong side of the Mason Dixon.

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YOU JUST MIGHT BE A YANKEE IF:

You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."

You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY!

You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.

For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits.

You don't know what a moon pie is.

You've never had an RC cola.

You've never, ever, eaten okra, fried or boiled.

You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.

You have no idea what a polecat is.

You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.

You don't have bangs.

You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.

More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the same prep school in Connecticut.

You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.

Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.

You don't think Ted Kennedy has an accent.

You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show.

You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.

You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an on-ramp to the highway.

You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.

The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman Marcus.

You call binoculars opera glasses.

You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.

You would never wear pink or an applique sweatshirt.

You don't know what applique is.

You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i. e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice, et al).

You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.

You've never been to a craft show.

You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.

You can do your laundry without quarters.

None of your fur coats are homemade.


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Old 05-03-2013, 04:06 PM   #2
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Ha!

As a Midwesterner who has lived in the "fake south" (i.e. Florida) for 12 years, but lived in VA and married a Southerner, it's fun to have both perspectives. I definitely could relate to many of those until I moved to VA.

I still don't like grits. Unless the bacon and cheese disguises them to the point they can no longer be recognizable!
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Old 05-03-2013, 04:06 PM   #3
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Thanks I enjoyed.....
Some true some not phor me

Love grits
Drink rc now and again
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Old 05-03-2013, 04:21 PM   #4
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Awesome!
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Old 05-03-2013, 04:30 PM   #5
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Hate grits, but have drank a Dr Pepper for breakfast.
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Old 05-03-2013, 04:36 PM   #6
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Thanks for posting that. I'll add one:

You never owned a pickup with a gun rack.
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Old 05-03-2013, 04:48 PM   #7
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Every one of them are true and a Southerner that doesn't like grits is still a Yankee. Might be a Damn Yankee, but still a Yankee.
Add a couple more: Thinks fried catfish is horrible
Thinks hush puppies are shoes


Difference between a Yankee and a Damn Yankee? Yankee is a northerner that comes down south on vacation and goes back home and a Damn Yankee is a Yankee that comes down south on vacation and stays.
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Old 05-03-2013, 04:50 PM   #8
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I just posted another joke about Northerners moving to the South. If you enjoyed this one, you should also find the other one humorous.

Tips for Northerners moving to the South
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Old 05-03-2013, 04:50 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OldCoot View Post
Every one of them are true and a Southerner that doesn't like grits is still a Yankee. Might be a Damn Yankee, but still a Yankee.

Difference between a Yankee and a Damn Yankee? Yankee is a northerner that comes down south on vacation and goes back home and a Damn Yankee is a Yankee that comes down south on vacation and stays.
Your delirious.
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Old 05-03-2013, 05:02 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by f1100turbo View Post

your delirious.


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