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Old 10-02-2012, 08:18 AM   #1
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Corporate Speak makes me crazy

It's 8:15 am and I've already heard all of these:

"You need to think outside the box"
"We all need to be team players"
"We need to right-size this organization"
"That guy was not a good fit"

Why don't they say - "Man up and go out there and find ways to get rid of people!" or "Let's destroy some lives people!".

Instead it's "we need to leverage our synergies and minimize our cost structure"

I'm not loving these people today. Corporate speak makes me want to throw things and hit people in the face.
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Old 10-02-2012, 08:26 AM   #2
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These are some of the few that I have written down while attending management meetings.

"We cannot continue to work in silos"
"Even with our efforts we will not boil the ocean"
"we need to create synergy"
"drink the kool aid"
"throw a curve ball"
"circle the wagons"
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Old 10-02-2012, 08:39 AM   #3
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They all sound like a highly proactive paradigm!
(The fewer meetings I'm in, the more I get done.)
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Old 10-02-2012, 09:06 AM   #4
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Was told early in my career that "The only things that come out of meetings are 'people' ". Found it to be so true over the years.
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Old 10-02-2012, 09:14 AM   #5
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I also love all of the nouns that are morphed into verbs. Like: Let's actionize this plan . . .
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Old 10-02-2012, 10:13 AM   #6
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can I get change for a paradigm?
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Old 10-02-2012, 10:33 AM   #7
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I am a plain-spoken, eloquent, and enormously profane man. To me, profanity is not sign of a weak mind, it is the spice of language, and I have a reputation at work of being able to strip paint from the walls when agitated. A good "f" bomb, applied with skill and precision, can make a point better than a 1000 milder words.

I must attend meetings all the time with the 'corporate' types who think dropping buzzwords equates to talent and skill. They will get all full of nonsense and vagueness and think they are wowing the crowd with their corporate acumen. The look on their little shiny faces when call them Bat-S**T crazy is priceless. Because I wear bib overalls and work boots at work (company supplied, OSHA required), sometimes I'll get a guy thinking I am some sort of uneducated yokel, and tries to put me in my place verbally. They bring their buzzwords and verb-nouns. I bring the more ribald parts of the Kings English, along with selected phrases in German and Russian. Its kinda like bringing toenail clippers to a gunfight. It never ends well for them.

I bring all this up because I've been told by a couple of people that it seems that whenever I am in a meeting, there is less nonsense, and we tend to stay on topic better. All it takes is one person with an "I don't have time for your crap" attitude who's not afraid to speak up to keep those kind of people in check.

Don't be afraid to be that person.

Tim

P.S. I can teach you the German and Russian curse words if you want.
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Old 10-02-2012, 10:38 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cowracer View Post
P.S. I can teach you the German and Russian curse words if you want.

Maybe start another thread. Probably won't get sanctioned by the moderators.
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Old 10-06-2012, 04:30 PM   #9
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Read this Buzzword bingo - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Watch this
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Old 10-06-2012, 04:35 PM   #10
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Maybe start another thread. Probably won't get sanctioned by the moderators.
Watching the clock to see how long it takes before bingo post gets downsized.
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