At least you guys all use words that are recognisable, even though they might be used in unusual circumstances.
In the part of England I come from the dialect actually includes lots of words that you wouldn't recognize. My maternal grandparents spoke Lancashire dialect and it varied within 5 miles, almost to a point where a person's place of residence could be pinpointed within that distance by how he spoke.
There was quite a significant input to the local dialect when a lot of Flemish weavers fled the religious persecution in what is now part of Belgium and settled in Lancashire because of the cotton industry.
A typical example is the past tense of "squeeze" which is "squozzen". Shoes are "shoon", eyes are "een". I remember my grandfather, a keen rose grower, saw that the horse drawing the coal merchants cart had deposited a pile in the street. He said "I'll go for t'shovel and pick that up for t'roses". While he was in the shed getting the shovel, a truck ran over the pile. Grandad's response was "Hell's bell's, he's squozzen all t'juice aht".
The old-fashioned second-person singular pronouns were used (thee, thou) along with the contemporary verb endings. Of course they were abbreviated, just to make comprehension by outsiders more difficult.
"Tha'art a reet muggins" means "you are clumsy". "Where dost tha think tha'rt going" translated as "where do you think you're going". "Dost" is an abreviation of "doest".
Regrettably, much of that is lost, as is the Cockney rhyming slang. That was a system where phrases were substitued for words, then the phrases we shortened. A typical one of those is "By heck, my plates are killing me. I've been up and dahn the apples all day". Translation is "My feet" (plates of meat) are hurting because I've been running up and down the stairs (apples and pears) all day".
The differences between different parts of the US are not really that difficult!
Frank and Eileen
No longer RVers or FR owners