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Old 01-03-2015, 12:00 AM   #91
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Yeah, 'Bama sorta limped in to yesterday's game - it was tough to watch my boys go down

And to the good gentle who thinks the SEC is arrogant ... We aren't arrogant, ya'll Northerners jut don't take football SERIOUSLY enough

Consider:

The Difference In Football
Between the North and South



WOMEN'S ATTIRE
Up North: Chapstick in their back pocket and a $20 bill in their front pocket.
Down South: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, powder, mascara (waterproof), concealer, and a fifth of bourbon. Wallet not necessary, that's what dates are for.

STADIUM SIZE
Up North: College football stadiums hold 20,000.
Down South: High School football stadiums hold 20,000.

FATHERS
Up North: Expect their daughter to understand Sylvia Plath.
Down South: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.

ATTIRE
Up North: Male and female alike: woolly sweater or sweatshirt and jeans.
Down South: Male - press khakis, oxford shirt, cap with frat logo, Justin Ropers. Female - ankle-length skirt, coordinated cardigan, flat riding boots, oxford shirt.

ALUMNI
Up North: Take prospects on sailing trips before they join the law firm.
Down South: Take prospects on fishing trip so they don't leave for the NFL their senior year.

CAMPUS DECOR
Up North: Statues of founding fathers.
Down South: Statues of Heisman Trophy winners.

HOMECOMING QUEEN
Up North: Also a Physics Major
Down South: Also Miss USA.

HEROES
Up North: Mario Cuomo
Down South: "Bear" Bryant

GETTING TICKETS
Up North: 5 minutes before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and still purchase tickets.
Down South: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and still be placed on the waiting list for tickets.

FRIDAY CLASSES AFTER A THURSDAY NIGHT GAME
Up North: Students and Teachers are not sure if they are going because they have class on Friday.
Down south: Teachers cancel class on Friday because they don't want to see the few hungover students that might actually make it to class on Friday.

PARKING
Up North: An hour before game time the University opens the campus for game parking.
Down South: RV's sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The real faithful begin arriving on Tuesday.

GAME DAY
Up North: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
Down South: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting on Game Day "live" to get on camera and wave to the idiots up North who wonder why game day is never broadcast from their campus.

TAILGATING
Up North: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.
Down South: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance by Jerry Jeff Walker, who comes over during breaks and ask for a hit off your bottle of bourbon.

GETTING TO THE STADIUM
Up North: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right in with no line.
Down South: When your near it, you'll hear it. On game day, it becomes the state's third largest city.

CONCESSIONS
Up North: Drinks served in a paper cup filled to the top with soda.
Down South: Drinks served in a plastic cup with the home team's mascot--filled less than halfway to ensure enough room for bourbon.

WHEN NATIONAL ANTHEM IS PLAYED
Up North: Stands are less than half full.
Down South: 100,000 fans sing along in perfect 3-part harmony.

THE SMELL IN THE AIR AFTER THE FIRST SCORE
Up North: Nothing Changes!
Down South: Fireworks with a twist of bourbon.

COMMENTARY (MALE)
Up North: "Nice Play."
Down South: "Dangit you slow sumb*#$h - tackle him and break his legs!!!"

COMMENTARY (FEMALE)
Up North: "My, this is a violent sport."
Down South: "Dangit you slow sumb*#$h - tackle him and break his legs!!!"

ANNOUNCERS
Up North: Paid.
Down South: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.

AFTER THE GAME
Up North: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
Down South: Another rack of ribs on the smoker. While somebody goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon, planning begins for next week's game.
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Old 01-03-2015, 01:35 AM   #92
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That's a great list Bob, funny and I get it. But most of that list described Happy Valley on PSU game day! Especially the largest city comment. And 110,000 watching! Plus Mario Cuomo is no one's hero around here, you could insert JoePa in there (who was actually good friends with Bear Bryant...)
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Old 01-03-2015, 08:50 AM   #93
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Stereotypical Alabama fan:

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=11747483

True southern lady?
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Old 01-03-2015, 09:29 AM   #94
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That's funny. That lady Phyllis needs to get a life (I hope you don't know her personally, Bob!). She calls in to Colin Cowherd's show (as mentioned in the clip,) which I listen to regularly. Colin has taken making fun of her to a new level of art. Just remember, when you call in to a radio show, the producers are always going to have that clip of your voice, and can now digitally master, redact and arrange it to make you say just about anything!

It just goes to show that some people are unable to be rational about their sports teams (or anything else they happen to be passionate about) and accept legit criticism from any outside source. I'm a fan, not a fanatic.
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Old 01-03-2015, 10:02 AM   #95
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Not really a college football fan; however, the three largest college football stadiums are in the north...Univ. MI, Penn State, and Ohio state...
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Old 01-03-2015, 05:56 PM   #96
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Funny list!
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Old 01-03-2015, 10:28 PM   #97
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Bob I've lived in Austin and know first hand that football in the south is a little different. As for game time I have been to a few Longhorn games and lots of MichState I had season tickets. I love the hole experience. Great fans and a really fun tail. U Michigan stadium rocks. The place is huge and the party's are amazing. Big screen TV. Rigs from MH's to homemade ingenious rigs. Go watch a game at the "Shoe". That place is a four day party on game week.



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