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Old 03-20-2013, 10:43 AM   #11
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I always look to my own reaction to situations and try to understand what is spinning me up so much. I have decided that my own overreaction to "fairness" is what is driving my emotion, and my concern for how others are treated.

Many people are ignorant of how they show up in the world, AND incapable of changing if you point it out to them. That is not to mean that you don't make an attempt to push back in a gentle way, especially if you are on the outside of the core family and can see things clearly. Just don't get to attached to whether the MIL actually changes her attitude, cause that may or probably won't happen. You may feel better about it tho.

IMHHHHO
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Old 03-20-2013, 10:44 AM   #12
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Pray with & for her! Youroo!!
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Old 03-20-2013, 11:13 AM   #13
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Not going to go into to much detail....I feel your pain. There are somepoeple on this earth who are not happy unless they are un-happy. Some people ONLY look for the negitives in life and let all the positive things pass them by. Some people take and take emotionaly from those around them and never give anything back. Sometimes it is heathy to purge these folks from our lives..... Eaiser said than done.
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Old 03-20-2013, 11:15 AM   #14
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I know where you are coming from. My DW and i just bought a new TV 2012 F-350 CC long box!!! My DW gets a call from her mother and her father made it a point to let us know that our new truck would not fit in an automatic car was!!!! I couldn't hardly believe it!!!!! Then the DW wonders why I drink!!!!
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Old 03-20-2013, 11:18 AM   #15
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ENERGY VAMPIRES. THEY will suck you DRY. Get garlic and a bejeweled cross.

I am not totally kidding. It is helpful to know this and only you can give up your energy, but in reality some people are really good at sucking you dry and it is hard to stay engaged with them, and not feel depleted...
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Old 03-20-2013, 11:19 AM   #16
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Agree with the "pray with and for her", but there are also non-confrontational comebacks that can diffuse the situation, like.....

Price - not enough to worry about or more than you want to know

Not coming to family gathering - You know we plan this trip every year. You can add or use by itself - It is our time with our extended family of friends. We'll be with you on the "next holiday" (i.e. Thanksgiving, Christmas, whichever one is coming up).

Only the rich can afford..... Well, when we've earned our first million, we'll buy it too.

She's expecting the kind of reaction/response you typically give her. If you can respond like above, it will take the wind out of her sails. Over time, she may stop.

Good luck and remember, she will have to answer for these kinds of things she does!!
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Old 03-20-2013, 11:23 AM   #17
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What jcrayford said. Tell her off and either she will shut up or she's gone. I was lucky I had the best MIL and FIL you could ask for.
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Old 03-20-2013, 11:28 AM   #18
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What jcrayford said. Tell her off and either she will shut up or she's gone. I was lucky I had the best MIL and FIL you could ask for.
It doesn't work that way- I've had my share of blowups with people. Generally they cause lingering angst and haven't solved any problems. And, I haven't been able to commit to severing any ties. Especially when it's the kind of personality that the OP described. :-(
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Old 03-20-2013, 11:54 AM   #19
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...I would like to completely cut ties with her, walk away and not look back. The bad thing is that my FIL is one of the nicest guys I have ever met and just puts up with her _____,...
Hmmm - are we related? What is your MIL's name...wonder if it's the same one I have? Sure sounds like it...and my FIL, great, GREAT man.
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Old 03-20-2013, 11:57 AM   #20
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I come from a different perspective. My mother always had negative comments about anything my wife did. "Just trying to be helpful." My only recourse was to visit with mom alone, and invite her to our home less and less often. I regret that decision now that shes gone, but at the time it was about the only solution. My mother was headstrong and often a pita. Make no mistake, I loved her dearly.
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