my wife's first tow

[kcmusa]

So I agree the DW needs to know what to do if something happens on the road.
So I let/instruct her on everything from the start of our current trip. She hooks up at home, and comments oh how hard it is to get lined up to start. We have a rear view cam, i think its easy. We have a TT so the sway bars are next, I let her know about raising the truck after you lock the hitch to make it easy to lock in the sway bars, she gets it.
so off we go, I keep the "swing wide" in her mind. first turn she almost takes out a truck in the other lane at a bad turn. OK, you got it now? next turn, I thought we were going to lose two tires because of a curb.
After a few hey listen to me conversations I think we are OK.
the next 100 miles are great, she gets it. until we stop to let the dogs pee. So my wife is deaf, I am out with one the dogs. next I hear the engine race to redline, i panic and run back to the truck to turn it off. put a small dent in the door as I brace my self to stop, all the time yelling "let off the gas". Now that I think of it, the truck will not let it over rev. but it was one hell of a, **** we are screwed moment.
It was a very tight entrance to the park and she did great. backing in a stood at the door and told her how to turn. then she said, you do it.
overall it was good, let your wife drive, hook up and back in. my nerves and back in check.

[moose074]

Hey I agree I think regardless of how well our wife's drive we are nervous. I made sure the better half can do anything on trailer. From Hitch to W/D bars to backing( once in school parking lot but she hit a left and right back in perfectly. Always nervous but think it's a control thing and I wasn't in control. So now I sit back and sleep. Oops that was the TT we have a new 5th wheel. No worries my new plan training the 12 year old daughter and she is going to train her mom

[klrobert]

I think Moose hit the nail on the head about control. After teaching one daughter to drive a manual and in the process of teaching the other, I have realized things will not get done as fast as I think they should (mash the clutch, downshift, etc.). I have realized my student has to think about things I do automatically and it will take a few seconds to respond to my commands. Teaching teenagers to drive is making me an old man.

[Wobbles]

Originally Posted by klrobert

I think Moose hit the nail on the head about control. After teaching one daughter to drive a manual and in the process of teaching the other, I have realized things will not get done as fast as I think they should (mash the clutch, downshift, etc.). I have realized my student has to think about things I do automatically and it will take a few seconds to respond to my commands. Teaching teenagers to drive is making me an old man.

All you can do is your best. A prayer or two that they come home safe is optional but very very common.

[Crusadernoob]

I tried to get my wife to drive, it won't happen, if something happens to me she will just leave the camper and come home! But I do make her set up and tear down, I'm positive she could do it, might take out a couple tires, maybe an awning, but I think she could make it home, eventually.

[mtnlvr]

As a single female, my two cents worth; I flew by myself from CA. to Des Moines, IA. to take delivery of my class C. As a total newbie, after my PDI, when they handed me the keys downtown near the freeway, my initial moment of panic was, what were you thinking, this time your big idea really got you in over your head. But, one baby step at a time with lots of manual reading I made it home through tornado warnings, heavy rain and snow in the Rockies. By the time I hit my last ascent up the summit home, I had it down.I was confident and felt like I could handle anything. Female friends and family members frequently comment that they would/could never do this. Why not? Many women can drive just as well as a man, they just lack the courage or confidence to even try it. (Franky, I prefered to do most of the driving when I was married.) "There is nothing to fear but fear itself."
Ps- I haven't tried a toad YET, but I do tow a 12' utility trailer alot.

[hbillsmith]

My wife handles driving our 5er just fine on the interstates but I'm a little nervous letting her having it the 2-lane country roads where usually traffic backs up behind us. She gets nervous and starts paying too much attention to what's going on in back (wish there were more turnouts). My biggest fears are not how she'll handle normal driving, I worry about that 1-second reaction that could be required in a potential accident situation. She has weak wrists and even with power steering, emergency maneuvers can be taxing.

[oldsmasma]

A few years back we had a fifth wheel and a F250 diesel 4x4. I had driven the truck once and never towed anything in my life. We were headed out on a cross Canada trip when DH had a heart attack on day 5. The way it unfolded mercifully the truck and trailer were hitched together when I had to follow the ambulance. I drove the rig about 60 miles to the campground recommended by the hospital and set up camp alone. I never unhooked just used my bicycle for a few days. Our adult son drove up before DH was discharged. Son drove the rig home with DH riding shotgun. I followed in our son's car. I did it but you sure could have picked up a nice combo cheap cheap cheap if you'd been in the vicinity. Never never never again will we have something I'm not comfortable driving. Swallow your nerves/pride or male ego and make sure the co-pilot is comfortable driving.

[dwayneb236]

My wife pulls our 5er pretty well. She does not want to back up though. Also she's never hooked up but she probably could eventually. Every trip I have her tell me what needs to be done with setting up. She's getting there.

[EvvTraveler]

My wife has not driven yet, but she knows how to do everything else. I have complete confidence she can prep, hook up (once the truck is in position) and setup. I have a feeling her idea of driving will be on the interstates once underway (so straight, wide lanes). But I think once she gets some confidence, she'll eventually be fine to do most of it.

We are going to be full-time soon so I will need breaks so she sorta has no choice in the matter. ;-)

[HangDiver]

If something happens to me I want my wife to be able to carry on, use the camper to its fullest and look forward to the next adventure. She's learning and doing everything that I know.

[Freedom2016]

After 45 years of marriage DW and I share everything. We are in the first year of RVing. We share hitching up, set-up, cooking, cleaning, repairs, and driving. Presently I am at the wheel when backing but she is in command giving directions and watching out. I am sure that when she is more comfortable she will be backing better than I. We depend on our checklists to make sure that we do not miss a step. She keeps me on task. I am relieved that my best friend is there to share. I have no worry that if I was incapacitated she would be able to step up and take care of getting us and our 5th wheel to our destination

Guys, ask for help on this adventure rather than "letting the DW".

[Bill and Gail]

DW drives and backs in the class c as if she was born doing it. I just can't get her to hook up or dump the tanks.

[blue river]

DH and I have our struggles. Once upon a time I learned from co-workers how to drive 2.5 ton dump trucks, to the dump and back on country roads; but then there was a 40+ year hiatus. He's relinquished driving to me a few times, on straight highway, mostly. This past summer we got a new bass boat. Now he tows the TT and I tow the boat. I mostly struggled with getting into-out of gas stations (we have a diesel tow vehicle) with adequate clearance, with the TT. Much less of a struggle with low profile boat behind my RAV4.

[Walholler]

I cannot say one bad word about my DW driving. I have backed our 5th wheel into the shed twice and bent the top of ladder. I also backed her car into the side of the fiver. She has never towed the fiver, nor have I offered. Better to just leave good enough alone.

[DNBINFV]

I towed my 21' TT back in the 70's - had a hard time backing it up. When we moved up to the Class C MH, I did 90% of the driving. When we got our first 5er I was really worried. Solved the problem by RV Driving school. Do 100% of the forward driving. Still not the greatest at backing up - just need more practice. He does most of the backing into tight spaces.

[NMWildcat]

Liz and I take turns driving the rig. She is my partner in everything and honestly a better driver than I am. She pays much better attention to everything around us than I do. We try to not have any preconceived stereotypical male/female roles. She drives the rig because she wants to. We share most all RV chores. The only thing she won't do is back into tight spots.... Yet. I think it's because she gives better backing signals than I do

We do know couples where the female is not 'allowed' to drive the rig, or do anything that is stereotypically a male role. To each their own.......

[damann]

Silence is Golden when teaching your Significant Other to tow.
We have owned a 22ft travel trailer for a little less than two years. Before we bought it I had never towed anything. My husband runs a large Grader, and is used to loading it onto a narrow flat deck and making very tight turns. We both practiced backing-up and turning the new trailer in an empty parking lot when we first got it. I don't understand his instructions on how to do it, but I figured it out on my own (he doesn't nag me or tell me what I'm doing wrong unless I'm going to damage something) It turns very quickly, so I have no problem asking someone at a campground to spot for me while I'm trying to park it. My sister bought a new trailer about the same time we did, dthen took a tow/haul driving course to help her learn about maneuvering. She sometimes tows by herself now. We are both in our mid/late 50's and plan to be doing this for a long time.
I have dragged our trailer to several destinations as far away as 700 km, and onto a very narrow ferry (much easier than driving through downtown Nelson, BC). Sometimes I am alone, or I have a couple of pre-teen grandchildren with me. I do it all; put on hitch, hook-up, tow bars, etc. I fill the water, sanidump, maintain the tanks, and winterize as needed. If I didn't do these things myself I would spend a lot of time wondering why we even have a trailer, as my husband does not get any time off in the summer. I just finished an 8 night boon-docking trip to the Rockies with my grandkids, with just a portable solar panel to keep the basics running.
I am happy to say that my DH supports my adventures 100%, and encourages me to use the trailer as much as I can. When he and I are traveling together we share the driving, but I do know that he is checking the side mirror to see if I'm rubbing the curb going around tight corners.

After our purchase, I spent a fair bit of time reading the vague owners manual, but learned how to do most things by watching videos and reading this forum regularly. Thanks to all of you, I am a traveling Grandma.

[OldBob]

I wish my wife would be able to do that. She has tried and tried but gets so nervous she just freezes up. She will drive on the Interstate between rest areas but she won't take it off the Interstate. The last time she drove we hit a hard rain storm and she was totally freaking out. We are far from being young so I don't think she will change. She has often told me that as soon as something happens to me she is selling the trailer. I tell her she just needs self confidence. I honestly don't think she'll ever be able to take it off the Interstate.

[kittlecat]

Damann, my hat is off to you! I am a single woman in her early 50s and after going through a divorce, had the option of re-learning to tow, backup, set up and take down a pop-up myself, or give up camping. That wasn't an option. I had the benefit of having learned to drive at the age of 14 while living on a farm and towing horses in a 4-horse trailer. That helped me with my confidence considerably albeit many years later.

At present, I am on TT #3 in 6 years. I had to decide at the time my son graduated from high school and moved to another state what I was going to do about my love of camping and the loss of my camping companion. My sister (also in her early 50s) suggested I graduate up from a pop-up to a TT. I was aghast until I thought about it. Then I jumped in with both feet to educate myself on everything TT as I had no prior experience owning one.

The good thing is my TT is not that much larger than the horse trailers I used to haul loaded with 4 horses (I have a 30' TT). Backing up is exactly the same whether you have horses or a TT on your bumper. I have to manage the hitching, towing and then backing up at the campsite alone, but manage I do. In fact, I often receive compliments from men at campgrounds who are amazed at how well I can back my TT up. Alone. It sometimes means getting out of my truck several times to make sure I am not hitting anything (I haven't yet), but I do it in all different kinds of weather, times of day, etc.

I am super proud of myself for my ability to camp alone successfully and do so safely and happily. That is not to say I have not had some scares, but that happens to everyone who tows a trailer at some point. Like you, I watch videos, talk to a friend we call our 'camper whisperer' and practice! I would never say I can't when it comes to my camper, I just might need a little time to think about it, process it mentally and then implement whatever needs doing. I got this!

While I only do very minor repairs to my TT by choice, I am fortunate enough to have a friend who is able to help and an excellent RV dealer who is also very helpful. I say "yay, us!" for women campers/drivers!! We are women, hear us roar, and we can do this!

Life is full of adventure, so live it with no regrets! I do this by camping both alone (well, with my cat, too) and with a group of fabulous family and friends.