Please offer to help, but please take no for an answer!

[itat]

Originally Posted by ependydad

Yep, sold the rig last month and took the truck to a dealership yesterday. Bought a little baby truck to replace it that I can tow behind the motorhome.

Wanted to downsize and ended up in a 39' motorhome, so... it's less than our 45' toy hauler and won't have a 22' truck in front of it, but isn't nearly the < 35' rig that I had hoped we would end up in.

Congrats on the new MH, Doug!

[richp]

When travelling alone and backing in uncertain situations, I learned some time ago to get out and look for myself during various stages of the maneuver, to be sure I was headed where I wanted.



I probably looked inept to any onlookers, but it was safe, and it works for me.

[Riich]

Everyone talks about the wife giving the directions, last summer at a state park a family came rolling in with a travel trailer and the wife at the helm. The man and kids hopped out, the man walked to the back of the rig and gave directions and the wife backed perfectly into a spot that wasn't the most ideal too back into.

We were right across from them and we were all impressed. Sometimes we don't give the women enough credit. I asked my wife if she would like to try that and she politely declined. Although when we had a boat she could back down any boat ramp with ease.

Here's to the women who perform this task, and also those who are good spotters.

[salwolfe]

Had an experience in a Tucson area park where park guys go to space with the RV to assist in parking. Wife and I always do a team parking job whereby she drives and I provide signals (only time she ever listens to me). The guy was very assertive so we said ok, we'll try. But I had to fire him quickly. Signals she said, indicated that she do a Uturn followed by a wheelie in the MH. Pretty awful.

[jd4010]

Originally Posted by Semperfi24

They also have a shared language. That is very important. When others help, they may not understand that shared language.

Me and the sweet DW have a "shared language" but I cannot share it on this rated G site.

Let's just say that I now have a camera on the RV. That coupled with my TV cameras I can see most everything swimmingly well!

[Cabinfever97]

Originally Posted by richp

When travelling alone and backing in uncertain situations, I learned some time ago to get out and look for myself during various stages of the maneuver, to be sure I was headed where I wanted.



I probably looked inept to any onlookers, but it was safe, and it works for me.

My Uncle drove truck from the 70s thru the early 2000s. He also had an auto wrecking business. His advise I have lived by when backing up. Always back to the left if possible. Nothing wrong with getting out a few times to make a mental picture of what is going on. His point of view was who cares what others think of how you back up. Just get it there and don't hit anything.

[Bob K4TAX]

Practice makes perfect.

On a nice weekday, find an empty church parking lot. Put out some orange cones or get some surveyor's flags and a few blocks of wood. Drill a small hole in the blocks and put in the surveyor flag wire. Pull the trailer and tow the vehicle into a nice empty area. Spread those flags out around the trailer as needed. Then pull out, make a circle around the parking lot, and put the trailer back between the flags. So you have to pull up and back several times. So what? Just notice what worked and what didn't work. Outside mirrors are a must. Adjust them correctly and use them. Learn to do all of this yourself.

If someone should approach and ask if you need assistance, or are you perhaps crazy, the answer is "no, I don't need assistance and yes, I'm crazy". They will promptly make a quick exit, leaving the place to yourself. Works every time.

Then after you master that, try the skill of parallel parking the trailer and the tow vehicle. It is just a wee bit more challenging than parallel parking a vehicle. Of which many find to be extrememly challanging.

[si camper]

Originally Posted by sfsgm

The first thing we do when we get to camp is that my wife gets out and takes the dog for a walk. By the time she gets back, I'm parked.

Take from that what you will.

Been doing it the same way for years.

[Peter0525]

99% of the time my wife sits in the passenger seat while I back in. Sometimes people feel the need to help, but have no idea how to back my trailer. I generally just ignore them and do as I wish. So time they are a bit obstinate.

I’m a farmer and drove semis for a while. I understand how to back a trailer. I have a camera on back to look for rear obstacles. If there are trees tight on the sides, I might have my wife get out and look. I think that has happened 1-2 times.

[moose074]

Originally Posted by Peter0525

99% of the time my wife sits in the passenger seat while I back in. Sometimes people feel the need to help, but have no idea how to back my trailer. I generally just ignore them and do as I wish. So time they are a bit obstinate.



I’m a farmer and drove semis for a while. I understand how to back a trailer. I have a camera on back to look for rear obstacles. If there are trees tight on the sides, I might have my wife get out and look. I think that has happened 1-2 times.

I think the op said it best with the title of the thread. I agree with 99% of your post. While not a farmer ( thank you by the way some people don’t understand the importance of farming) I too have driven semis, traditional trailers, travel trailers, 5th wheel and military munitions trailers with front axles. But I have to ask why you think nobody knows how to back your trailer. Haven’t most of them backed into a site as well. I have found that most drivers aren’t able to adjust to the spotter. I find this difficult as well but I see this as more of a trust factor. I much do I trust someone I have never met before and most likely never see again. I have been lucky as I have been able to back into my spots before “ help “ can arrive.

[Peter0525]

Originally Posted by moose074

I think the op said it best with the title of the thread. I agree with 99% of your post. While not a farmer ( thank you by the way some people don’t understand the importance of farming) I too have driven semis, traditional trailers, travel trailers, 5th wheel and military munitions trailers with front axles. But I have to ask why you think nobody knows how to back your trailer. Haven’t most of them backed into a site as well. I have found that most drivers aren’t able to adjust to the spotter. I find this difficult as well but I see this as more of a trust factor. I much do I trust someone I have never met before and most likely never see again. I have been lucky as I have been able to back into my spots before “ help “ can arrive.

Sorry, not that no one else can back my trailer. It’s that the times they had tried to help, they were used to a bumper pull that reacts more quickly, don’t understand the turning radius of a solid front axle truck, or just had I different philosophy that I did.

I personally have only offered help one time. It was a mom with several kids that was obviously struggling. I think she was thankful and just asked me to do it for her.

[TitanMike]

Originally Posted by richp

When travelling alone and backing in uncertain situations, I learned some time ago to get out and look for myself during various stages of the maneuver, to be sure I was headed where I wanted.



I probably looked inept to any onlookers, but it was safe, and it works for me.

Since my wife passed away in 2016 I now travel alone. I survey the site before i even start to back in and don't feel foolish at all when I get out and make progress checks.

My "helper" now is a camera on the rear of the TT.

If someone offers help I thank them but tell them "I'm good".

[Stryker Guy]

I have seen this many times and it is seriously irritating. Why the local yahoo who is usually 3 beers deep thinks the DW cannot provide good direction is beyond me.

Once we are parked without the extra help, we grab the lawn chairs and beverage to watch others. Great fun.

[Mr Towed]

Drives me crazy when we pull into a campground and they take their little golf cart and try to tell you how to back in. We’ll either tell them we have it or begrudgingly accept their assistance and most likely reposition the rig to our liking after they wander away.

[Papadave]

Originally Posted by 18LT

I’m fine with having my offer declined. We boated for decades and always offered to handle lines for boats approaching and departing the docks. More often that not, our offer was politely declined. Conversely, we seldom accepted a dockside offer to help us enter a slip and secure lines.

I will second that. I finally resorted to coming in hot with my big sailboat which intimidated the hapless helpers who wanted to grab the bow line and yank on it and crash my stern wind generator into a pier. Came in hot revved it in reverse and stopped cold while I stepped off the boat with my lines. In other cases a knowledgeable dockhand or two would advise about a tide run and I welcomed the local knowledge, and help. If asked then help. If not, unless they are heading into your rig, stand by.

[jcliftonm]

Originally Posted by ependydad

Had a frustrating experience last night. I was helping one of my RV coaching clients get parked right as it got dark and started to rain (which ramped up to a downpour). A fellow came around offering to help (yay!) but completely ignored 3 of us when we said we had it under control (boo!). Even ignored the driver when she said we had it under control (GRR!).

I may not have been the most polite when I told him that the driver having multiple people giving her instructions was a recipe for failure and he needed to move it along.

So I guess my tip - please do offer help, but please take no for an answer!

Some very good as well as entertaining answers in here. My comment is differernt but associated with the issue of getting "help." It's the fellow who wanders quickly over as you're trying to finish getting set up for the (often fast-approaching) night after what could have been a stressy day of driving. He's bored and or lonely and just wants to talk while getting in the way and being distracting. While well-meaning, this isn't help, except, perhaps, self-help for him.

Wait until people have fully arrived, walked their dog, eaten their meal, and settled into a lounge chair outside, and only then approach to have a chat.

[JKLines70]

Originally Posted by ependydad

Had a frustrating experience last night. I was helping one of my RV coaching clients get parked right as it got dark and started to rain (which ramped up to a downpour). A fellow came around offering to help (yay!) but completely ignored 3 of us when we said we had it under control (boo!). Even ignored the driver when she said we had it under control (GRR!).

I may not have been the most polite when I told him that the driver having multiple people giving her instructions was a recipe for failure and he needed to move it along.

So I guess my tip - please do offer help, but please take no for an answer!

Totally agree ... getting more input than you want simply leads to mistakes and frustration. One person by themselves can be responsible for providing too much input and it can get costly when the input comes at the wrong time. So far, we've had one popped rear window and needed to replace two tailgate lips backing into tight slopped driveway. I often found it beneficial to even ask my lovely wife to please leave and then do what I needed to do since I could take my time and stay focused. And I believe that is the important thing. If you as the driver feel your focus is being affected by the amount of input ... it is time to get reduced input or simply stop.
Regarding that significant other ... we recently went to a large empty parking lot and played. She can be have very strong views on what will and won't work ... so the empty lot gave me the opportunity to follow her direction to the letter and stop when there was a real problem ... like a significant part of the truck being in the neighbors yard. So we were able to get closer together on what worked and what didn't. As a matter of fact ... I think it's worth doing periodically to refine that communication.

[dave961]

When I'm backing in, I get out several times to look (including up). If I'm concerned about a tree, limb, stump, rock, post, etc. I'll point to it and tell the wife, "Watch that and tell me to stop if I get too close." It's not a race to get in the site.

[moose074]

Originally Posted by Stryker Guy

Once we are parked without the extra help, we grab the lawn chairs and beverage to watch others. Great fun.

Perhaps this is why they offer they know what it feels like to be judged by others. That said I have had people come to watch when I pulled my 42’ fifth wheel. Only twice but I felt the eyes, especially in Illinois some rv park on the Mississippi. Heck had golf carts lining up before I could even get to my spot. When I got there a guy offered to ask another camper to move their truck and another started trying to pull the post with the site number on it. I had the trailer in before either one could finish what they started. I just figured they didn’t have cable and I was going to be the entertainment at the time and conversation over the fire. I won’t lie glad it went quick

[mmock12]

The best help I can find for parking my 40 ft 5th wheel is my son. He was an H-47 crew chief, and I was a pilot on the same aircraft in another life. Flying and maneuvering a 50K lb helicopter while relying solely on the voice in the ICS was the perfect learning experience for this. It helps when we both use the same standardized terminology. Now if I could just get his mother CRM trained I’d be set all the time!