Welcome, and congrats on your first post. I tow a slightly larger TT with a german SUV, and have some of the same guidelines. Some input on some of your things:
1. Check PAYLOAD for your X5 (on sticker inside door jamb), and compare to the combined tongue weight for the tailer (loaded), what you put in the SUV and what the hitch itself weighs. If you follow the 10-15% tongue weight, you're at 500-750 lbs for 5,000lbs of trailer. Subtract tongue weight (and hitch weight), from payload and you see how much stuff you can put in the X5 for the trip.
2. I'm almost not convinced your engine temps are lower (unless you are going a LOT slower), but will take your word for it. Does hooking up a 7-pin activate a tow-mode that (in addition to other things) also keeps the thermostat wide open, or activates a normally closed aero flap to keep air pouring through the radiator (despite cost to gas mileage)?
3. Audi also prohibits a weight distribution hitch (as there's no frame to attach to, and the forces would be more than the unibody attachment points would ), though I haven't seen an similar prohibition against an anti-sway bar. Some folks have had their receiver hitch modified/supported to enable some additional support for WD hitch (see
Can-Am RV Centre in Canada). Note, as WD is verboten, this likely won't be supported by the factory and may void your ability to have any recourse with BMW if anything goes wrong. Some MILD Anti-sway is most likely baked into your ABS system, though proper loading and proper driving while towing can reduce a lot of sway incidence. If you add anti-sway via a friction lock, you'll need a new hitch (that has a secondary mounting point for the anti-sway to attached to the tow vehicle), also have to remember to remove/disconnect it during low-speed high angle maneuvers (eg, parking). Friction anti-sway won't make bow wave (from the 18-wheelers) go away entirely, but it will slow it down a little bit. Consider that the bow wave (air pressure from a passing 18-wheeler) has a lever arm the length of the trailer. That'd easily overcome a tiny friction lock that's 2-3 feet long that's mounted between hitch and trailer frame.
4. re-mount that sofa! It's no bueno to have an unsecured load, plus the sofa can mar your floors.
5. Is your slow kitchen faucet flowing poorly from BOTH hot AND cold sides? Sounds like the aerator (unscrew at the faucet and clear the aerator from debris).
6. Lots of dealerships put non-purchasers on the 'less than front of line' status (and, instead, work their purchasing customers in first. It's a thing. I bought mine at a distance but haven't had to deal with much in the way of warranty claims. Call YOUR dealership and see if you can get them to identify (and authorize) warranty repair from a local mobile RV repair service.
Hope these help!