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Old 01-21-2022, 07:07 AM   #1
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RV Newbies-Do not make them feel like outcast

Don’t make RV park newbies outcasts – include them!

How do you fit in? Do some people just not let you in to their group? Did we not learn in our school years to not have clicks, include all?

We recently decided to sit down for a bit. Have been workamping and will continue but staying put in an RV Park for a bit.

We settled on a place in RGV [Rio Grande Valley] in TX. Many people have been coming here year after year for 10 to 20 years. They all know each other and seems like they do not let new people in. How sad this happens today when we are no longer teenagers who joined up in groups. The sport-minded, the ‘brainies,’ and the nerds or outcasts.

Well, it lives today in RV Parks where people 55 and up live and play as Snowbirds,Winter Texans and full-timers. It can happen in any RV Park.

My question above on how you fit in may be a simple answer. Be here long enough to become an old-timer or ‘longtimer,’ as I have heard some calling themselves.

The reason I am saying all this is maybe if you see someone new pull in, take a moment to say hello, tell them what may be going on in the park and how to sign up for things. Do not assume they know. Maybe invite them in case they are not one to just show up. Some are leaders, some are followers.

Think back to when you were new. It can get lonely and you can feel left out.

Just a brief little note from someone who has been there and is still there learning to fit in.
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Old 01-21-2022, 09:35 AM   #2
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This may come across as harsh; but, the world isn't all rainbow and unicorns.

As a retired military member and the son of a retired military; I traveled the worlds extensively and was always the "new kid in town." Never the language barriers.

What I came to realize is that "no one gives a crap about me if I don't give them reason to include me"! They have their own lives to live and I know nothing about them. I also learned that I could be anyone I wanted to be; they don't know who I am and if I don't give them reason to want to find out who I am that's on me.

Not sure what happened that makes you feel "left out" but no one owes you a damn thing. Earn it. No one has to "like" you because you say so. Are they supposed to celebrate you because you decided to grace them with your presence?

I'm certain I'll receive many negative replies to this and may get booted out of the forum but as I said in the beginning the world isn't all rainbows and unicorns.
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Old 01-21-2022, 10:38 AM   #3
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We made new friends at our CG the day one of them came up and asked to borrow a level. Then we had to help them try and back their trailer into their site without scraping it up on their deck.

They are about our age and very outgoing. They had also been seasonals at the CG long enough that they were able to introduce us to many other seasonals.

It also helps that the CG has activities every weekend for everyone to get together and get to know each other.

A monthly bags "league" at our previous CG was how I got to know many of the people there.
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Old 01-21-2022, 11:09 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by poorbabi View Post
Don’t make RV park newbies outcasts – include them!
How do you fit in? Do some people just not let you in to their group? Did we not learn in our school years to not have clicks, include all?
No. We didn't learn that lesson. I have friends that don't know anyone in their neighborhood and wonder why we know our neighbors.
People will leave you alone until you make the effort to let them know you're interested in them and willing to help with whatever they are interested in. It takes a lot of 'hellos', introductions, and seizing on opportunities to help someone out to gain trust and friendship.
Unfortunately, in this era of Covid, people are more suspicious of 'outsiders' and it's going to take a more longterm effort to 'fit in'.
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Old 01-21-2022, 11:18 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by poorbabi View Post
... Think back to when you were new. It can get lonely and you can feel left out.

Just a brief little note from someone who has been there and is still there learning to fit in.
Unlike other respondents, I appreciate your consideration for others who may not be so brash.
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Old 01-21-2022, 11:24 AM   #6
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Honestly, I sorta miss the way it was when I was a kid and it was easy to make friends. It was literally just

"Hey you want to be my friend?"
"Sure!"
Proceeds to be friends for x number of years...

In fact one of my oldest friends just posted on Facebook asking people to describe their first impression of him. I told him I didn't remember because it was almost 40 years ago.
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Old 01-21-2022, 11:45 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by poorbabi View Post
Don’t make RV park newbies outcasts – include them!
Good reminder for us to behave this way on the site, too. It's easy to get jaded, or say "USE THE SEARCH" and harrumph our way over new posters and members, but they need some kindness. Even long timers need some respect and kindness too.

I find it's helpful to always treat each other as though we were sitting together at a campsite and making conversation.

Thanks, PoorBabi, for the reminder! Seems fitting for here, too!
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Old 01-21-2022, 12:05 PM   #8
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This is my 6th year of full timing, spent the first 3 winters in AZ and now spend them in NV. I am solo + one cat who walks on a leash and is very friendly. I don't do 'craft' things, I don't like crowds, I don't want to get up early. That doesn't mean I'm not friendly! Twice per day my cat takes me for a hike, she stalks the birds, smells the news, visits whoever we run into along the way and we've made what I call friends. People/animals who we chat with for a few minutes, exchange pleasantries, laugh a bit, then go on our way. Some folks don't want to visit or chat, pretty easy to tell, so we don't. Maybe they don't like cats...maybe they don't like me! I do not take it personally, nor does my cat. In the 6 years of spring/summer/fall travel I've come across zillions of folks who were nice, friendly, some chat, some just acknowledge with a smile or hello then go on their way. We are all going somewhere and have our reasons for doing so.
Those who want to share, share - those who don't, don't. There is plenty to go around.
The special friends we've made we cross paths with every so often, that is so fun to catch up on our travels, enjoy each other, then say 'see ya next time'. Works for us.
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Old 01-21-2022, 12:26 PM   #9
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There may be clique-ish campgrounds, but I have not encountered them. I make friends everywhere I go, I like to smile and wave and chit chat, much to my wife's chagrin, who dreads walking with me, because I always find someone to talk to about something in common along the way.


Nick Danger hit the nail on the head!
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Old 01-21-2022, 12:59 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Danger View Post
This may come across as harsh; but, the world isn't all rainbow and unicorns.

As a retired military member and the son of a retired military; I traveled the worlds extensively and was always the "new kid in town." Never the language barriers.

What I came to realize is that "no one gives a crap about me if I don't give them reason to include me"! They have their own lives to live and I know nothing about them. I also learned that I could be anyone I wanted to be; they don't know who I am and if I don't give them reason to want to find out who I am that's on me.

Not sure what happened that makes you feel "left out" but no one owes you a damn thing. Earn it. No one has to "like" you because you say so. Are they supposed to celebrate you because you decided to grace them with your presence?

I'm certain I'll receive many negative replies to this and may get booted out of the forum but as I said in the beginning the world isn't all rainbows and unicorns.
I'll toss you a POSITIVE on that one!
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Old 01-21-2022, 01:32 PM   #11
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I was at a concert at a Casino, camping in the Casino parking lot. I had to leave early the next morning, like 6 am. The concert was over, and a group from a couple of different RVs had gathered in the spot next to mine and there was guitar playing and general hang out together singing and chit chat going on about 9:30 pm. I grabbed my folding chair and bottle of whiskey and headed over.

I approached the group and said, "Hi, I'm John. Ummmm..... I need to get up like at 5 am tomorrow morning, so I was just wondering if maybe....I could join you and share my bottle with you?"

"Sure, pull up a chair!"
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Old 01-21-2022, 09:15 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by poorbabi View Post
Don’t make RV park newbies outcasts – include them!

How do you fit in? Do some people just not let you in to their group? Did we not learn in our school years to not have clicks, include all?

We recently decided to sit down for a bit. Have been workamping and will continue but staying put in an RV Park for a bit.

We settled on a place in RGV [Rio Grande Valley] in TX. Many people have been coming here year after year for 10 to 20 years. They all know each other and seems like they do not let new people in. How sad this happens today when we are no longer teenagers who joined up in groups. The sport-minded, the ‘brainies,’ and the nerds or outcasts.

Well, it lives today in RV Parks where people 55 and up live and play as Snowbirds,Winter Texans and full-timers. It can happen in any RV Park.

My question above on how you fit in may be a simple answer. Be here long enough to become an old-timer or ‘longtimer,’ as I have heard some calling themselves.

The reason I am saying all this is maybe if you see someone new pull in, take a moment to say hello, tell them what may be going on in the park and how to sign up for things. Do not assume they know. Maybe invite them in case they are not one to just show up. Some are leaders, some are followers.

Think back to when you were new. It can get lonely and you can feel left out.

Just a brief little note from someone who has been there and is still there learning to fit in.
I say hello when I walk by people. I help people back-in. I say hello to neighbors and often invite them over for a fire. One of the great thing about RVing is I get to meet people. COVID has made some of this harder...

I just don't understand anyone having problems with this post.

-Just trying to be a decent human and part of that is to be friendly to everyone until they give me a reason not to be.
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Old 01-21-2022, 09:32 PM   #13
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Well...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhumblefish View Post
Good reminder for us to behave this way on the site, too. It's easy to get jaded, or say "USE THE SEARCH" and harrumph our way over new posters and members, but they need some kindness. Even long timers need some respect and kindness too.

I find it's helpful to always treat each other as though we were sitting together at a campsite and making conversation.

Thanks, PoorBabi, for the reminder! Seems fitting for here, too!
Well, when a question is posted on this site, the first thing I look at is the number of posts the OP (questioner) has made. If it's less than triple digits, I make sure to make the post fully-detailed and to avoid RV jargon or to define each term as I use it.

Amazes me when a newbie asks about the poop pyramid or the overflowing fresh water tank and an old-timer gives a one-line response.
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Old 01-21-2022, 09:46 PM   #14
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I'll toss you a POSITIVE on that one!
As someone who went to 15 different schools to finish 12 grades and then leaving the house we lived in 9 Nov for the Air Force and Dad moving the family Thanksgiving week to another job 300 miles away, I can feel for both sides of this coin!
However, I would like to toss out the second positive on this.

We (You) are not owed anything, you/we are what we make of our self's, no one is going to reach out unless we are willing to do the same.
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Old 01-21-2022, 10:01 PM   #15
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Response to outcasts

I understand your concern especially in places where there are seasonal campers they have built their network.

I have found camping in places where there may be more turn over people tend to be friendlier. I personally am an introvert so budging into a fire pit group is out of my comfort zone. But hey I have a friend that every excursion they make new friends (extrovert) so I agree some of this is your personality.

I do have to say when I have been backing into a spot more than once people have come out of the woodwork to help. At 7 pm people pull up their bug truck with a double row of LED lights and shine on where I am going. I say thanks and we don't talk from there. The help was appreciated for the overnight.

Camping and RV life from my point is what YOU want it to be.
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Old 01-21-2022, 10:20 PM   #16
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I'm not an overly social person, so my motto has always been - if they shun me, those aren't people I want to hang out with anyway. Luckily, I married well the second time around. My lovely wife never met a stranger and talks to everyone.
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Old 01-21-2022, 11:13 PM   #17
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Newbies

I say Hi to everyone, and go from there. If people seem like they want to talk, or need help I'm happy to. I will say, (and I know some won't like this) I tend to stay away from smokers, only because I hate cigarette, and even more so, cigar smoke. That's not to say I wouldn't talk to, or help a smoker, it's the smell that I don't like. Unlike campfire smoke which has a totally different smell.
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Old 01-22-2022, 08:57 AM   #18
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Quote::::Are they supposed to celebrate you because you decided to grace them with your presence?

I never felt people should feel they should celebrate me. Wow.
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Old 01-22-2022, 09:20 AM   #19
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Originally Posted by dave961 View Post
I'm not an overly social person, so my motto has always been - if they shun me, those aren't people I want to hang out with anyway. Luckily, I married well the second time around. My lovely wife never met a stranger and talks to everyone.

I think we married the same woman. Wife has never met a stranger. But me, I have a slightly paranoid view of strangers. I came back to our beach one day and there was a woman there that had come over to talk and pet the dog. Harmless, right?? Well before she left the conversation turned to her "partner". Partner was kicking her out and she wanted to know if she could stay with us a few days. Remember, this is a person we don't know. Maby I attract that kind of people or I just remember the all the times it turns out this way. Yes we have friends but they are carefully vetted. Hope to mellow in the future.
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Old 01-22-2022, 09:27 AM   #20
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Quote::We (You) are not owed anything, you/we are what we make of our self's, no one is going to reach out unless we are willing to do the same
------------------------------

I never thought people would take my post as people thinking I feel I am owed something. I love the life style. We have workcamped at parks and love meeting new people. Most were parks that were more overnighter and they are a different type of Camper than ones who go to same seasonal park for 6 months every year. Different mind sets.
My husband recently had a stroke and he was the electrician here in this park. Many of the workampers have been so supportive. It'd been trying being 1100 miles away from family and dealing with a health scare. Why I am I adding this part? If people do not at least try to know others in these long term parks
then many may not know people are going through a crisis.

As for the quote above. I again did not say I feel I am owed anything. Just talking able what I have observed as I have workamped across the country. I still love the lifestyle but am now going to be giving it up due to health issues my husband is dealing with. We need to be closer to family. I have made life long friends at some parks. Now life changes again.
Sorry this message seemed to bring out such negative responses.
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