Love your sig line.
True story:
I once flew with an instructor flight engineer on active duty who used to go to sleep on the crew rest bunk right after take off, leaving the two pilots (was a co-pilot at the time) to watch over the student while we were enroute to our heavy equipment drop zone.
The crew bunk was right next to the flight deck access ladder that lead to the cargo compartment.
Needless to say, his "habit" was not appreciated by the rest of the crew and a lesson was justified.
The Pilot shut off the instructor's headset intercom and briefed the crew to make preparations for "the lesson."
The loadmaster quietly tied his foot to the end of a 10,000 pound tie down chain with parachute cord and piled it at the top of the crew ladder right below his leg.
We then turned down our intercom volumes while the pilot cranked the IFE's up to maximum. The Navigator yelled "GREEN LIGHT" as loud as he could and then the Loadmaster began pulling the chain down the steps creating a clattering, LOUD rattling as the links hit the metal rungs.
Startled awake, he tried to get up and tripped on the chain; and began screaming at the top of his lungs.
While he may have short changed his students when he flew with other crews, he never again did it with our crew.