Free 7 Day Trial RV GPS App RV Trip Planner Campground Reviews RV Maintenance Free 7 Day Trial ×


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-05-2014, 08:42 PM   #1
Site Team
 
wmtire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 27,262
Autocorrect caused my divorce

The autocorrect on my cellphone is what caused my divorce.

See, I was off on a business trip when my wife texted me asking how it was going.

I texted back that I was having the best time of my life. Wish you were her.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

What if UFO's are just billionaires from other planets?
wmtire is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2014, 08:55 PM   #2
Senior Member
 
HONDAMAN174's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Big brown desert
Posts: 2,984
Lol! I will have to try that- maybe I would finally get paroled!


2014 Stealth Evo 2850 "Woodstock"
2011 Toyota Tundra Rock Crawler TRD 5.7 "Clifford"
__________________
2014 Stealth Evo 2850- "Woodstock"
2011 Toyota Tundra Rock Crawler TRD 5.7- "Clifford"
2013 Honda Accord Coupe V6 w/Track Pack- "Julia"

Just glad to get away
HONDAMAN174 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2014, 09:02 PM   #3
Site Team
 
Platokidd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: top side land of Lincoln
Posts: 7,429
ha

Did you hear the new Divorced Barbie is out?
Comes with all of Ken's stuff.
__________________
2014 LaCrosse 323RST-TE-C
2009 Chevy 2500HD Z71
Seasonal

R.I.P. Luke the campin dog
Platokidd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2014, 09:11 PM   #4
Site Team
 
wmtire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 27,262
I really wanted to remarry the woman I divorced years ago, but she said I was only after my money.


__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

What if UFO's are just billionaires from other planets?
wmtire is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2014, 09:28 PM   #5
Site Team
 
Platokidd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: top side land of Lincoln
Posts: 7,429
I don't think I'll get married again; every five years or so, I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
__________________
2014 LaCrosse 323RST-TE-C
2009 Chevy 2500HD Z71
Seasonal

R.I.P. Luke the campin dog
Platokidd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2014, 09:30 PM   #6
Site Team
 
wmtire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 27,262
I had to get revenge for her divorcing me and waited patiently in the bushes for her return from the school run, as I didn't want the kids to see it.

As she rounded the corner I raised my gun at the car, pulled the trigger and seconds later it was over.

Later at the police station, one officer even sympathized, saying, "I wished I'd done that to my ex!"

People may hate me, but 47 in a 30mph limit, I love being a traffic cop.


__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

What if UFO's are just billionaires from other planets?
wmtire is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2014, 09:34 PM   #7
Site Team
 
Platokidd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: top side land of Lincoln
Posts: 7,429
An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and in the center of the tomb there’s a lamp. He picks it up, and as he starts to rub the dirt off of it, a genie comes out of the lamp and says, “I want to know the person you hate the most.” The explorer says, “That’s gotta be my ex-wife. Why?” “I am a cursed genie. I will grant you three wishes, but whatever you wish for, your ex-wife will get double that amount.” “Okay, I wish for a billion dollars.” “Granted, but you ex-wife gets two billion dollars.” “I wish for a mansion in California with a swimming pool, and tennis courts, everything.” “Granted, and your ex-wife gets two." "Now make your final wish.” The explorer walks around for a few minutes, returns to the genie with a stick, and says, “You see this stick? I’d like you to beat me half to death.”
__________________
2014 LaCrosse 323RST-TE-C
2009 Chevy 2500HD Z71
Seasonal

R.I.P. Luke the campin dog
Platokidd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2014, 10:23 PM   #8
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,255
Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire View Post
I really wanted to remarry the woman I divorced years ago, but she said I was only after my money.


Stop stop.. I can't breathe LOL

I don't care why ya are.. that's funny right there..
rana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2014, 11:34 PM   #9
Moderator Emeritus
 
asquared's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 11,069
Marriage is a three ring circus. An engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffer-ring.-

A dietitian was addressing a large audience in Chicago: "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous to some and none of us realize the long term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" A 75 year old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake."


A cop tries to pull over a guy for speeding who tries to outrun him. Finally the guy gives up and pulls over. The now ticked off cop walks up and yells at the guy, "What's the big idea?" The guy responds, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop," he said, "and I was afraid he was trying to give her back!" "Off you go," said the officer.
__________________
<a href=https://i62.tinypic.com/28rp645.jpg target=_blank>https://i62.tinypic.com/28rp645.jpg</a>
2014 Crew Cab Chevy Silverado 3500 4wd Duramax/Allison
2014 Sabre 34REQS-6
asquared is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2014, 03:32 AM   #10
Site Team
 
wmtire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 27,262
My wife has always told me that if I cheat on her she'd leave me.

We played Monopoly last night and I stole $1000 from the bankers tray.

Fingers crossed.


__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

What if UFO's are just billionaires from other planets?
wmtire is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2014, 05:54 AM   #11
Phat Phrog Stunt Team
 
AquaMan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Tipp City, OH
Posts: 7,154
Do you what a tornado and divorce have in common? They both start off with a lot of _______ and _______ and end up with someone losing a house. 😜


Sent from my iPhone using Forest River Forums
__________________
2016 Georgetown 364TS
2017 Jeep Rubicon Recon toad
Nights Camped 2019 - 17
AquaMan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2014, 09:02 AM   #12
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,255
Man!! Your guys are terrible lol

My wife told me once that if park our rig up in the boonies and try to feed her burnt meat off the grill one more time, she would leave me.

I really miss her. LOL
rana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2014, 09:09 AM   #13
Site Team
 
wmtire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 27,262
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yarome View Post
Man!! Your guys are terrible lol

My wife told me once that if park our rig up in the boonies and try to feed her burnt meat off the grill one more time, she would leave me.

I really miss her. LOL
Hey that reminded me. When I first got married, my wife was a very religious cook. Every meal was burnt offerings.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

What if UFO's are just billionaires from other planets?
wmtire is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2014, 01:55 PM   #14
Another rat in the race
 
jar3316's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Redlands CA
Posts: 368
I like to introduce my wife of almost 20yrs as my first wife.

When we were in line for our honeymoon cruise we were 20 and 22. A young couple ahead of us were in line on their honeymoon. He was carrying ALL the luggage and she had this little bitty makeup purse and just jabberin' commands at him the whole time. They were already fighting and at one point on the cruise in the hall we heard her say "Well you married me!". To this day that is our default answer to anything that we don't like about the other.

Every now and again people (including my wife) ask if we divorced, or she died, would I re-marry. I tell them absolutely not. The training still ain't going so well on this one why in the world would I start all over again. Or the other one I use is "The Webster's definition of insanity is doing the same thing twice and expecting a different result".
__________________
A rainy day camping is better than any sunny day at work
2004 F250 V10 SD Xcab 2011 Wildwood T26BHXL
jar3316 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2014, 02:31 PM   #15
Senior Member
 
BiigDaddy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 449
You guys are killing me over here!!
__________________

2013 GMC Savana 2500 FBI Edition
2015 Rockwood 8327SS stuffed with 5 kids!

SE Michigan
Nights camped 2014: 48
BiigDaddy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2014, 03:37 PM   #16
Moderator Emeritus
 
ColoradoRick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,024
A husband goes to the doctor for his yearly check-up. The doctor calls he and his wife in for an appointment.
When they arrive, the doctor asks to talk to the wife alone so she goes into his office while the husband waits in the waiting room.
"Is it bad news?" she asks the doctor.
"Oh, no," answers the doctor, "but if you want him to get through this, you're going to have to eliminate ALL stress in his life...no arguing and he has to always get his way. He will also need three healthy, home-cooked meals every day, and you will need to make love to him every day."
"Okay, I understand" she says.
She walks out into the waiting room and her husband asks, "What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're not going to make it!" she answers
__________________
Rick & Karen
(Retired USAF, MSgt)
Monument, Colorado
8-year Travel Trailer RVers
2013 Forest River Rockwood Ultra-Lite 2904SS
2014 Toyota Tundra Maxcrew SR-5 TRD 4x4 (with Firestone airbags in the rear)
ColoradoRick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2014, 03:39 PM   #17
Member
 
TeamPlumlee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Ft. Worth TX
Posts: 68
Funny stuff!!
__________________
Kevin and Sandi
2010 Wildcat 31TS
2011 F-350 Lariat edition 4x4 diesel long bed
TeamPlumlee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2014, 03:44 PM   #18
Moderator Emeritus
 
ColoradoRick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,024
A husband and wife were discussing what they would do if they were to die.
"Would you get re-married?" the husband asks.
"Well, dear, maybe...but not for a long time and only if I were too lonely and only if I fell in love again."
"Hmmmpf.." he says. "So when you remarry, would you let him use my lawnmower?"
"Well, honey, if the lawn needs it, sure."
"Hmmmpf....well, would you let him drive my truck that I love so much?"
"Well, honey, you wouldn't need it and if he needed a vehicle, sure."
"Hmmmpf...well what about my golf clubs, would you let him use my golf clubs?"
"Oh no, honey, he would never ever use your golf clubs."
The husband breathes a sigh of relief and nods his head.
"He's a lefty" the wife adds.
__________________
Rick & Karen
(Retired USAF, MSgt)
Monument, Colorado
8-year Travel Trailer RVers
2013 Forest River Rockwood Ultra-Lite 2904SS
2014 Toyota Tundra Maxcrew SR-5 TRD 4x4 (with Firestone airbags in the rear)
ColoradoRick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2014, 03:44 PM   #19
Senior Member
 
BamaBob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Whereever our Berkshire is Parked!
Posts: 7,085
Down here in the South, ya'll know how a Tornado and a Divorce are Similar?

SOMEONE's gonna loose a trailer!
__________________
Bob & Anne-Marie [BamaBob & 6 Actual]
| 2017 Berkshire XLT 43A with Ultrasteer Tag | Blue Ox Avail + KarGard II |
| SMI AF-1 Air Brake | 2016 Jeep Cherokee Overland TOAD | Pedego Bikes |
Nights Camped: 2013 - 242014 - 422015 - 56Jul 2016 - Fulltime
BamaBob is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2014, 10:00 PM   #20
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Long Island
Posts: 519
If the wife ever leaves I'll never remarry.
Why disappoint another woman !
jwedell is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


» Featured Campgrounds

Reviews provided by

Disclaimer:

This website is not affiliated with or endorsed by Forest River, Inc. or any of its affiliates. This is an independent, unofficial site.



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:00 PM.