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Old 07-19-2020, 02:27 AM   #1981
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How come I can't order a boa constrictor, or a piranha, or a jaguar from Amazon?

Isn't that where they come from????
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Old 07-19-2020, 10:31 AM   #1982
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Old 07-19-2020, 01:38 PM   #1983
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Dave's young son swallowed three quarters, two dimes, and a nickel one day. Alarmed Dave and his wife took their son to the ER. There the Doctor told them to not worry, they'd keep him overnight and let nature take it's course. Dave and his wife went home.

The next morning the boy's mom anxiously called the hospital to see how her son was doing. The nurse responded:

"Still no change."
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Old 07-21-2020, 12:55 PM   #1984
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Dave's young son swallowed three quarters, two dimes, and a nickel one day. Alarmed Dave and his wife took their son to the ER. There the Doctor told them to not worry, they'd keep him overnight and let nature take it's course. Dave and his wife went home.



The next morning the boy's mom anxiously called the hospital to see how her son was doing. The nurse responded:



"Still no change."


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Old 07-21-2020, 12:57 PM   #1985
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Old 07-22-2020, 12:55 PM   #1986
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we didnít order anything from amazon yesterday,
so the ups guy knocked on our door today

to see if weíre ok.
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Old 07-22-2020, 01:30 PM   #1987
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Quote:
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Dave's young son swallowed three quarters, two dimes, and a nickel one day. Alarmed Dave and his wife took their son to the ER. There the Doctor told them to not worry, they'd keep him overnight and let nature take it's course. Dave and his wife went home.

The next morning the boy's mom anxiously called the hospital to see how her son was doing. The nurse responded:

"Still no change."
They should be looking for a piece of a dollar bill stuck to his butt.
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Old 07-22-2020, 08:27 PM   #1988
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Old 07-23-2020, 07:31 AM   #1989
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we didnít order anything from amazon yesterday,
so the ups guy knocked on our door today

to see if weíre ok.
Being retired from UPS that's funny right there
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Old 07-23-2020, 08:08 AM   #1990
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I think this one is. BAd enough to qualify for posting here:

A farmer was training chickens to lay eggs without eating, unfortunately, every time he just about had one trained it died.
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Old 07-23-2020, 08:42 AM   #1991
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You can literally live without food and water for the rest of your life.
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Old 07-23-2020, 02:08 PM   #1992
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They say to never go shopping for food when youíre hungry.

Itís been a week already and I'm just getting hungrier and hungrier.
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Old 07-23-2020, 02:17 PM   #1993
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They say to never go shopping for food when youíre hungry.

Itís been a week already and I'm just getting hungrier and hungrier.
That's easy to fix. Go to the store and find something you like, eat it then do your shopping.
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Old 07-23-2020, 03:12 PM   #1994
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Old 08-06-2020, 03:32 AM   #1995
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Dang, I was looking forward to this tube of Pringles, What a rip off, only three in it, and all tennis ball flavored.
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Old 08-06-2020, 04:00 AM   #1996
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Where do cow farts come from?

The dairy air (derriŤre)
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Old 08-06-2020, 02:25 PM   #1997
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Old 08-06-2020, 05:48 PM   #1998
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Is that because they ainít coming back?
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Old 08-06-2020, 05:58 PM   #1999
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Google request:

How to disable autocorrect in wife?
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Old 08-06-2020, 05:59 PM   #2000
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I went to see the doctor about my short-term memory problems.

The first thing the bastard did was made me pay in advance.



Wow, I believe this is the 2000th post in this thread.
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