cute joke(s)

[SailorSam20500]

Just trying to annoy the vegans out there....

[wmtire]

...

[Iwritecode]

Originally Posted by myxkp

When hiking in national parks you want to be prepared for bears
Wear sparkly baubles, carry a stick and have some pepper spray
Watch for bear scat. If its a brown bear it will have fur from small animals mixed in and if its a grizzly it will have sparkly baubles and smell like peppers

See now I learned it differently. You can differentiate bears by how they chase you.

If you see a bear and climb up a tree and it follows you, it's a black bear.

If you see a bear and climb up a tree and it shakes you out of the tree, it's a grizzly.

If you see a bear and run and run and there are no trees, it's a polar bear.

If you see a bear and run and run and you score a touchdown, it's a Chicago bear.

[SailorSam20500]

Anybody disagree? I think it's a great idea.

[kenandterry]

[Scrapper]

Originally Posted by SailorSam20500

Anybody disagree? I think it's a great idea.

The problem with that is if the vaccine works the politicians will do one of three things.

1) Lie and say it doesn't work.
2) Say there isn't any vaccine left for the rest of us.
3) Tell the pharmaceuticals it's worth more than it's weight in gold and the government doesn't have the money to pay them so pass the cost to the populace then the rest of us couldn't afford it.

[TitanMike]

Originally Posted by Scrapper

The problem with that is if the vaccine works the politicians will do one of three things.

1) Lie and say it doesn't work.
2) Say there isn't any vaccine left for the rest of us.
3) Tell the pharmaceuticals it's worth more than it's weight in gold and the government doesn't have the money to pay them so pass the cost to the populace then the rest of us couldn't afford it.

You left out:

"Take credit for all their hard work and dedication to bringing the vaccine into fruition".

[Scrapper]

Originally Posted by TitanMike

You left out:

"Take credit for all their hard work and dedication to bringing the vaccine into fruition".

The sad part is he's already been saying that for a while now.

[waybeck2018]

Originally Posted by TitanMike

You left out:

"Take credit for all their hard work and dedication to bringing the vaccine into fruition".

************************************************** *******


This one hits it on the head!

[wmtire]

The salesman said, "This sofa will seat five people without any problems."

"Great," I thought, "where am I supposed to find five people without any problems."

[jeffnick]

Say what?

[CurtPutnam]

A fifteen-year-old came home with a Porsche, and his parents began to yell and scream, "Where did you get that car?"

He calmly told them, "I bought it today."

"With what money!?" demanded his parents. "We know what a Porsche costs."

"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars."

The parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars!?" they ask

"It was the lady up the street," said the boy. "Don't know her name -- they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars."

Oh my goodness!" moaned the mother, "she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on."

So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting flowers. He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche to for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.

"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband.

I thought he was on a business trip, but I learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary. Then apparently she stole all his money and stranded him there!

Well, he called me, without a dollar to his name, and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So that's exactly what I did."

Posted in General to Anyone

[F.R.O.G.]

Originally Posted by wmtire

The salesman said, "This sofa will seat five people without any problems."

"Great," I thought, "where am I supposed to find five people without any problems."

Whenever I see an item talking about capacity like this, I'm reminded of the little plant nursery that used to be on Highway 141 in West St. Louis County:

"WE HAVE PARKING FOR 10,000 CARS --
12 AT A TIME."

[SailorSam20500]

So true...

[Scrapper]

Originally Posted by SailorSam20500

So true...

I get those same warnings every time I try to stand up in my TV.


OH! Wait, maybe I'm getting those confused with the birdies and stars.

[TitanMike]

Boss called an employee one day. Told him they were in need of help on the weekend and asked if he could come in on Saturday.

Employee responded "Sure but you know how the transit system is on the weekend, i might be late".

Boss said "OK, what time do you think you'll be in?".


Employee responded "Monday".

[CurtPutnam]

Have a Merry & Safe Christmas

[LittleBill]

Originally Posted by CurtPutnam

Have a Merry & Safe Christmas

All are pretty good.

Happy Holidays to all.

[Qwkynuf]

Back in my day, we didn't even HAVE pickles.

We had to eat cucumbers, and *pretend* that they were sour!

[myxkp]

Thanks CurtPutnam # 10 is my favorite