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12-02-2016, 09:12 PM
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#141
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,738
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The labels on some products are downright ridiculous. I bought some cologne that read: "Avoid contact with eyes"
TOO LATE!! I had already read ....
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2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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12-02-2016, 09:19 PM
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#142
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Southern, IL
Posts: 3,272
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That thud you just heard was my forehead on the desk.
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Bob & Michelle
2016 Ford F-250 Lariat 4x4
2017 Flagstaff Super Lite 526RLWS
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12-02-2016, 10:14 PM
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#143
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Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Western PA
Posts: 88
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Choo Choo
Got to know!! Do Train engines have high beams in their single headlight?
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12-02-2016, 10:53 PM
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#144
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 10,907
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Quote:
Originally Posted by weatherguru1
Got to know!! Do Train engines have high beams in their single headlight?
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Hate to break it to you, but some engines have two headlights (hi/lo). Some also have what are known as Mars lights or Gyralites, that rotate in a figure 8 pattern down the track (to get drivers and pedestrians attention). They can also dim their lights.
(Sorry to deflate your joke. )
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1988 Coleman Sequoia - popup (1987-2009) - outlasted 3 Dodge Grand Caravans!
2012 Roo19 - hybrid (2012-2015)
2016 Mini Lite 2503S - tt (2015 - ???)
2011 Traverse LT, 3.6L, FWD
2009 Silverado 1500 Ext Cab, 5.3L, 4x4, 3.73
2016 Silverado 2500HD Dbl Cab, 6.0L 4x4, 4.10
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12-02-2016, 11:12 PM
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#145
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Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Western PA
Posts: 88
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choo choo
Ok, I'd stand corrected if my knee didn't hurt so much. I never know that. Thanks for the info.
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12-03-2016, 06:17 PM
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#146
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,738
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I taught my sheepdog how to count. Now all he does is sleep.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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12-04-2016, 05:15 AM
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#147
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Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Southeast Texas
Posts: 49
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Platokidd
Two dogs are walking down the street, one says, "Wait a minute" and then crosses the road. He sniffs around a fire hydrant and returns. The other dog says, "What was that all about?" The first dog replies, "Just checking my messages!"
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He was actually checking his pee-mails.
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12-04-2016, 05:17 AM
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#148
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Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Southeast Texas
Posts: 49
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Platokidd
Math illiteracy affects 7 out of every 5 people.
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And, 5 out of every 3 people are dyslexic.
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12-04-2016, 05:27 AM
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#149
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Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Southeast Texas
Posts: 49
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Statistics
Remember, 46% of all statistics are made up on the spot 62% of the time.
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12-05-2016, 05:58 PM
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#150
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Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Agua Dulce, CA.
Posts: 55
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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says: "Hey, why the long face?"
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XOxo Mrs.Kay
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12-05-2016, 06:10 PM
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#151
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Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Agua Dulce, CA.
Posts: 55
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Mrs. Kay wants to teach her class a lesson about the ill effects of alcohol.
Standing in front of the class, she places two glasses on her desk.
She fills one glass with alcohol and she fills the other glass with water.
She then puts a worm in each glass.
The worm in the glass with the water is squirming and wiggling around wildly.
The worm in the glass with the alcohol is floating at the top, dead.
Mrs.Kay then asks the class: "Now class... what have you learned from this experiment?"
Little Johnny in the back of the class raises his hand and says: "That if I drink alcohol, I won't have worms."
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XOxo Mrs.Kay
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12-05-2016, 06:40 PM
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#152
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 7,916
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A 3rd grade teacher took her class to a farm....after they returned she asked what sounds they heard.
One kid said....bahhhhhh
One kid said.....moooooo
One kid said... get off that €%}.¥ tractor!!!
Sent from my iPhone using Forest River Forums
__________________
2017 Puma 297RLSS
2005 Ram 2500 4X4 diesel SMOKER!!
I love puns, irony and tasteless jokes...
born in Texas.... live in Arkansas
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12-06-2016, 04:03 AM
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#153
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,738
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I've had enough of Christmas. All year long I work my fingers to the bone to buy all the presents that my kids ask for and what happens Christmas morning? That jolly fat person with the beard gets all the credit for it! Still I suppose it was my fault for marrying her.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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12-06-2016, 12:05 PM
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#154
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,738
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The only thing left on my bucket list is to climb Mount Everest before I die.
Or, more probably, while I die.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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12-07-2016, 07:36 AM
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#155
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Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Southeast Texas
Posts: 49
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.Kay
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says: "Hey, why the long face?"
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I thought it was John Kerry that walked into the bar in that joke.
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12-08-2016, 09:07 AM
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#156
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,738
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The furniture store keeps calling me back. But all I wanted was that one nightstand.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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12-08-2016, 02:06 PM
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#157
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,738
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I called the ASPCA today and said, "I've just found a suitcase in the woods containing a cat and four kittens."
"That's terrible," she replied. "Are they moving?"
"I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "But that would explain the suitcase."
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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12-08-2016, 02:45 PM
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#158
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 7,916
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire
I called the ASPCA today and said, "I've just found a suitcase in the woods containing a cat and four kittens."
"That's terrible," she replied. "Are they moving?"
"I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "But that would explain the suitcase."
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Love this one...
Sent from my iPhone using Forest River Forums
__________________
2017 Puma 297RLSS
2005 Ram 2500 4X4 diesel SMOKER!!
I love puns, irony and tasteless jokes...
born in Texas.... live in Arkansas
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12-15-2016, 11:00 AM
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#159
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,738
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Pandas are living proof that you can be fat by just eating salad.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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12-24-2016, 04:06 PM
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#160
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: West St. Paul, Manitoba
Posts: 886
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Jonah and the whale
A little girl was asking her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for whales to swallow humans because even though it was a very large mammal it's throat was very small. The little girl responded saying that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”. The teacher asked “What if Jonah went to hell?”. The little girl replied “Then you can ask him”.
__________________
Of all the things I've lost in my life the thing I miss the most is my mind!
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