cute joke(s) - Page 91

HangDiver · 04-24-2020, 07:49 PM

And we use to sell lemonade....

SailorSam20500 · 04-24-2020, 09:43 PM

Friday Funnies

Cahriad · 04-24-2020, 11:10 PM

My favorite corny joke.

Baby polar bear keeps asking mama bear if he is a real polar bear. After being reassured by mama bear several times that he is a polar bear, mama asks why he keeps asking. Baby bear responds because mama, I am freezing.

SailorSam20500 · 04-26-2020, 05:32 PM

I'm trying this one, stolen from another RV forum....

A nun goes to Hooters
A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender and asked, ‘May I please use the restroom?’ The bartender replied, ‘OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a figleaf.’

‘Well, in that case, I’ll just look the other way,’ said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.

She went to the bartender and said, ‘Sir, I don’t understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?’

Well, now they know you’re one of us,’ said the bartender, ‘Would you like a drink?’

‘No thank you, but I still don’t understand,’ said the puzzled nun.

‘You see,’ laughed the bartender, ‘every time someone lifts the figleaf on that statue, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?’

JWood422 · 04-26-2020, 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SailorSam20500

I'm trying this one, stolen from another RV forum....

A nun goes to Hooters
A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender and asked, ‘May I please use the restroom?’ The bartender replied, ‘OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a figleaf.’

‘Well, in that case, I’ll just look the other way,’ said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.

She went to the bartender and said, ‘Sir, I don’t understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?’

Well, now they know you’re one of us,’ said the bartender, ‘Would you like a drink?’

‘No thank you, but I still don’t understand,’ said the puzzled nun.

‘You see,’ laughed the bartender, ‘every time someone lifts the figleaf on that statue, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?’

Now that’s funny right there. I don’t care who you are.

CNYCamper · 04-27-2020, 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SailorSam20500

I'm trying this one, stolen from another RV forum....

A nun goes to Hooters
A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

OMG! Almost the same thing happened to my mother,of all people. Dad, a naval coast watcher, came home from WWII and joined USMC reserves, married Mom, they had me and his unit got called up for Korea.
Mom and another Marine wife (both in their early 20's) drove from Syracuse, NY to California to see their husbands off, staying in a series of low budget motels and cabins along the way.
Grabbing a bite one night at a bar and grill, she went to the ladies room, saw a picture of a man with a fig leaf on a hinge, lifted it up and heard an alarm go off and knew she had been pranked. When she got the courage to come out, the crowd at the bar was doubled over with laughter. Once the patrons learned the reason for their trip, dinner and drinks were free for Mom and her friend. She, RIP, loved to tell that story.

JWood422 · 04-27-2020, 01:57 PM

Did y’all see the movie they made about constipation? Never mind. It never came out.

Scrapper · 04-27-2020, 03:09 PM

Should've Listened
An arrogant USDA official stopped at a farm and told the elderly farmer who owned it, “I need to inspect your farm.” The old farmer said, “You better not go in that field.” The bureaucrat said in an officious tone, “I have the authority of the U.S. Government with me. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on agricultural land.”

So the old farmer went about his chores. Later, he heard loud screams and saw the USDA rep running for a fence. Close behind him was an angry bull, madder then a nest of hornets and gaining ground on the man with every step. The old farmer yelled out: “Show him your card!”