cute joke(s)

[Mr. Dan]

I vote for 10.000 gallons. It's hard to get four zeros in a row.

[Rockinh]

Originally Posted by Mr. Dan

I vote for 10.000 gallons. It's hard to get four zeros in a row.

I have 4 x's that might dispute that idea.

[wmtire]

Originally Posted by Rockinh

I have 4 x's that might dispute that idea.

Ohh, I am going to steal that.

[Rockinh]

Originally Posted by wmtire

Ohh, I am going to steal that.

Feel free, I kept a couple in reserve, slow learner

[5er_tom]

I have not paid $3.99 for fuel for many years. Must be California or Canada.

[SailorSam20500]

Why I'm against "The Green New Deal"!

[Iwritecode]

Originally Posted by Qwkynuf

But... at $3.99 per gallon... will you be able to get *just* that penny???

Or will you wind up at $40.01???

Then you'd have to find a way to get another 99 cents in there!

(the struggle is real!!!)

Honestly I don't have OCD. My family always gets mad when I set the volume on the TV to some random number like 27. I just lol.

[CNYCamper]

I should have replied

[chroniekon]

I hope that apartment is on the ground floor!

[Scrapper]

Originally Posted by CNYCamper

I should have replied

So that's where my 30 billion went after I replied to his email.

It doesn't make me angry he spent a little on himself, but come on man, 3 billion is just a bit too much.

[SailorSam20500]

These are the new rules to be implemented for the start of next season.
I realize many of you have not yet reached this milestone age, but here’s something for which you can look forward.




For Immediate Implementation :
New 2021 Rule Changes for golfers Age 65+

Rule 9k.34– If a tree is between the ball and the hole, and the tree is deemed to be younger than the player, then the ball can be moved without penalty. This is so, because this is simply a question of timing; when the player was younger, the tree was not there so the player is being penalized because of his age.

Rule 1.a.5– A ball sliced or hooked into the Rough shall be lifted and placed on the Fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the Rough with no penalty. The senior player should not be penalized for tall grass which ground keepers failed to mow.

Rule 2.d.6– A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed NOT to have hit the tree. This is simply bad luck and luck has no place in a scientific game. The senior player must estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not hit the tree, and play the ball from there.

Rule 3.B.3– There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else, thereby making it a stolen ball. The senior player is not to compound the felony by charging himself with a penalty.

Rule 4.c.7– If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The Law of Gravity supersedes the Rules of Golf.

Rule 5. – Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they could be blown in, may be blown in. This does not apply to balls more than three inches from the Hole. No one wants to make a mockery of the game. Exception; if you bring your young girlfriend along and you know she could blow a ball more than 3 inches you may move the ball to the distance she can blow…

Rule 6.a.9– There is no penalty for so-called "out of bounds". If penny-pinching golf course owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur. The senior player deserves an apology, not a penalty.

Rule 7.G.15– There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as golf balls should float. Senior players should not be penalized for any shortcomings of the manufacturers.

Rule 8.k.9– Advertisements claim that golf scores can be improved by Purchasing new golf equipment Since this is financially impractical for many senior players, one-half stroke per hole may be subtracted for using old equipment.

Please advise all your senior friends of these important rule changes and keep multiple copies in your golf bag. Those not following the rules need to be provided a copy.

Golf is...above all...a game of integrity.

[SailorSam20500]

Anyone know this guy???

[Qwkynuf]

For most of my life I have been slightly unsettled by the fact that I don't really like people. I mean, other people like people - why not me? Maybe there's something wrong with me?

Turns out, I've been cooking them wrong. All good now.

[wmtire]

The infinite monkey theorem states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type any given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare.

This often gets corrupted to an infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters etc.

Well, I made an important discovery online yesterday, I know where those monkeys are and what they are doing.

Twitter.

[TitanMike]

Originally Posted by Qwkynuf

For most of my life I have been slightly unsettled by the fact that I don't really like people. I mean, other people like people - why not me? Maybe there's something wrong with me?

Turns out, I've been cooking them wrong. All good now.

Reminds me of a Jefferey Dahmer joke.

His mom came to dinner and during the meal she announced "I don't like your friends". He said "That's OK , just eat the vegetables".

[TitanMike]

Honestly I don't have OCD. My family always gets mad when I set the volume on the TV to some random number like 27. I just lol.[/QUOTE]

I just got back from a trip to our state's coast. Visited a tribal casino and the long entrance drive was posted "21 MPH". Might be interesting to see how they came up with that number.

[TitanMike]

Originally Posted by CNYCamper

I should have replied

Didn't state this was USD's, If Zimbabwe dollars this may just be a week's pay and each bill would be actually cheaper than an equivalent quantity of toilet paper.

[jk510]

Visited a tribal casino and the long entrance drive was posted "21 MPH". Might be interesting to see how they came up with that number.

Pretty easy actually, 21 - casino? Kinda go together.

[myxkp]

When hiking in national parks you want to be prepared for bears
Wear sparkly baubles, carry a stick and have some pepper spray
Watch for bear scat. If its a brown bear it will have fur from small animals mixed in and if its a grizzly it will have sparkly baubles and smell like peppers

[Cyote61]

Originally Posted by TitanMike

Reminds me of a Jefferey Dahmer joke.

His mom came to dinner and during the meal she announced "I don't like your friends". He said "That's OK , just eat the vegetables".