cute joke(s)

[Scrapper]

Originally Posted by Iwritecode

I've seen this same thing happen here many times.

Quote:
Q: How many people does it take to change a lightbulb in a Facebook group?
• 1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.
• 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
• 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
• 17 purists who use candles and are offended by light bulb discussions.
• 6 to argue over whether it's 'lightbulb' or 'light bulb'.
• Another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid.
• 22 to tell THOSE 6 to stop being jack donkeys
• 2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is 'lamp'.
• 15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that 'light bulb' is perfectly correct.
• 249 to post memes and gifs (several are of someone eating popcorn with the words added, “I’m just here for the comments.”)
• 19 to post that this page is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a light bulb page.
• 11 to defend the posting to this page saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant here.
• 12 to post F.
• 8 to ask what F means.
• 16 to post 'Following' but there are 3 dots at the top right that means you don't have to.
• 3 to say "can't share"
• 2 to reply "can't share from a closed group"
• 36 People to post pics of their own light bulbs.
• 15 People to post "I can't see S$%^!" and use their own light bulbs.
• 6 to report the post or PM an admin because someone said "f÷×$"
• 4 to say "Didn't we go through this already a short time ago?".
• 13 to say "Do a search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".
• 1 to bring politics into the discussion by adding that (insert politician of choice) isn't the brightest bulb. This usually takes place within the first three comments.
• 50 more to get into personal attacks over their political views.
• 5 admins to ban the light bulb posters who took it all too seriously.
• 1 late arrival to comment on the original post 6 months later and start it all over again.

You forgot the one that says "Without pics it didn't happen."

[SailorSam20500]

Finally, I found a good reason to wear those dang masks....

[wmtire]

Why I don't rob banks with my friends

[TitanMike]

Originally Posted by SailorSam20500

Finally, I found a good reason to wear those dang masks....

You can also put gummy bears in the masks. Nibble them like horses eat oats from their "nose bags". Makes your environment smell better too.

[wmtire]

I went to a fortune teller once, she had a look at my palm, started laughing and gave me my money back.

[wmtire]

Just found out the real reason penguins can't fly..

They're not tall enough to be pilots.

[JWood422]

Originally Posted by wmtire

Just found out the real reason penguins can't fly..

They're not tall enough to be pilots.

And I’d be pretty suspect of any pilot wearing a tuxedo.

[Mr. Dan]

....

[Scrapper]

Originally Posted by wmtire

Why I don't rob banks with my friends

Are you trying to throw us off your trail? We know what you do in your spare time.

[NXR]

Originally Posted by JWood422

And I’d be pretty suspect of any pilot wearing a tuxedo.

That reminded me of a story told me by a co-worker who flew the Jolly Green Giant helicopters in air rescue during the Vietnam war. Their "barracks" literally was a hotel the military had taken over in that country the US Military was not allowed to be in. He said they would go out during the day, fight the war, and come back to the hotel and have a good time.

One night they were having a party and he and his crew were wearing borrowed tuxedos. They had to scramble to pick up a pilot who had bailed out in a bad place. Nobody changed clothes because they had to go now. They located his IR beacon, lowered the hoist, and as the fellow was hoisted into the 'copter he got a good look at who was inside. He said it was the best-dressed air rescue crew that had ever picked him up.

Ray

[emm-dee]

[SailorSam20500]

[SailorSam20500]

[rk06382]

Originally Posted by SailorSam20500

I want to see the video.

[JWood422]

[TitanMike]

The Irony in a Dog's Life.


When a dog poops in the house everyone scolds him and he get's booted outside.

When a dog poops outside everyone praises him, picks up the poop, puts it in a bag, then brings it in the house to be placed in a special container (garbage can).

Ever wonder why dogs always look confused?

[wmtire]

I never thought I'd be the kind of person who'd run 5 miles a day before I've even had breakfast. Turns out I was right.

[pgandw]

Originally Posted by wmtire

I never thought I'd be the kind of person who'd run 5 miles a day before I've even had breakfast. Turns out I was right.

Some people eat to run. I run to eat.

[tkarper14]

Originally Posted by pgandw

Some people eat to run. I run to eat.

Just today, I ran twice. First I ran out of beer, then I ran to get some more.

[SailorSam20500]

Food for thought...