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09-21-2022, 05:45 PM
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#3301
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: At home
Posts: 1,448
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cute joke(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire
Why did the crab cross the road?
It didn't, it used the sidewalk
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I don’t normally groan at those jokes….
But….
Wait for it…
>
>
>
>
*groan*
And I just sent it to my daughter!
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09-22-2022, 09:31 AM
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#3302
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,917
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With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time until there's a country song where the guys truck leaves him.
__________________
 2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-23-2022, 01:08 PM
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#3303
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 5,056
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__________________
Al
I am starting to think, that I will never be old enough--------to know better.
Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people will be banned from thinking so as not to offend the imbeciles. Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist
S.E. Mich. Flagstaff 26FKWS / 2022 F-150 3.5 EcoBoost SCrew Propride
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09-23-2022, 03:09 PM
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#3304
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 256
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In the movie Shrek, donkey can’t talk. It just looks like he can because Shrek is a very talented ventriloquist!
In other words, the whole movie Shrek is talking out of his ass!
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09-24-2022, 06:51 PM
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#3305
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,917
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A sweet old lady telephoned the hospital.
She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"
The operator said, "I can, what's the name and room number?"
The old lady said, "Doreen Jacobs, Room 604."
The operator replied, "Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse."
After a few minutes the operator returned to the phone and said, "Oh, I have good news, her nurse just told me that Doreen is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal and her physician, Dr. Ross, has scheduled her to be discharged on Tuesday."
The old lady said, "Thank you. That's wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you!"
The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Doreen your daughter?"
The grandmother said, "No, I'm Doreen Jacobs in room 604. No one tells me crap.”
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-24-2022, 07:45 PM
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#3306
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Georgia Rally Coordinator
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: GA
Posts: 24,459
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Remember what the valet who parked your car because we do not have valet parking. Later RJD
__________________
2020 Shasta Phoenix SPF 27RKSS (sold)
2018 Dodge Ram 2500 6.4 3:73 gearing. Traded 2015 Chevy 2500 6.0, 4:10
Traded 2015 30WRLIKS V-Lite
Days camped 2019 62
Days camped 2020 49 days camped 2021-74 2022-40 days 2023 5 days
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09-24-2022, 08:13 PM
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#3307
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Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 49
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire
With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time until there's a country song where the guys truck leaves him.
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I caught my truck signing up for the extended warranty.
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09-28-2022, 10:04 AM
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#3308
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,917
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My dad got a job as a human cannonball.
He'd only been there 2 days and they fired him.
He went ballistic
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-28-2022, 11:00 AM
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#3309
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Director, FROG
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Middlebury, IN
Posts: 3,515
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire
My dad got a job as a human cannonball.
He'd only been there 2 days and they fired him.
He went ballistic
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They'll regret having fired him. It's hard to find people of his caliber. 
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09-28-2022, 11:02 AM
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#3310
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,917
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Quote:
Originally Posted by F.R.O.G.
They'll regret having fired him. It's hard to find people of his caliber. |
Dang you Bob, now I will be singing that song you got that line from all day.
"And the crowd scattered as Hugo...."
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-28-2022, 11:46 PM
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#3311
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Scoundrel
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Montrose, Colorado
Posts: 2,803
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Only during a hurricane can you buy a shovel, rope, duct tape, and a tarp and no one will question your motives...
__________________
2024 Geo Pro 15TB, 400W Solar, 2 Golf Cart batteries
2015 F-150 5.0L V8 XLT Crew Cab, 4x4, Tow Package, 36 gal tank, 3.55 locker, 1891 payload, Integrated Brake Controller, Roadmaster Active Suspension
Wooden Spoon Survivor
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09-29-2022, 07:43 AM
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#3312
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 256
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HangDiver
Only during a hurricane can you buy a shovel, rope, duct tape, and a tarp and no one will question your motives...
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You forgot the chainsaw and bleach…
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09-29-2022, 07:44 AM
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#3313
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: At home
Posts: 1,448
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HangDiver
Only during a hurricane can you buy a shovel, rope, duct tape, and a tarp and no one will question your motives...
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Only during COVID do bank tellers get upset when people come in not wearing masks.
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09-29-2022, 09:17 AM
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#3314
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,917
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Did you know that Forest River Forums has started offering financial incentives for jokes that mention their sponsors? That's as crazy as the deals at Dave's Furniture Wonderland.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-29-2022, 10:02 AM
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#3315
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 5,056
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire
Did you know that Forest River Forums has started offering financial incentives for jokes that mention their sponsors?
That's as crazy as the deals at Dave's Furniture Wonderland.
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That's one way for you to close your shop and continue living your preferred lifestyle.... 
Yes, I just finished the latest posts on your "Monday's" thread.
__________________
Al
I am starting to think, that I will never be old enough--------to know better.
Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people will be banned from thinking so as not to offend the imbeciles. Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist
S.E. Mich. Flagstaff 26FKWS / 2022 F-150 3.5 EcoBoost SCrew Propride
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09-29-2022, 07:06 PM
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#3316
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: At home
Posts: 1,448
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire
Did you know that Forest River Forums has started offering financial incentives for jokes that mention their sponsors? That's as crazy as the deals at Dave's Furniture Wonderland.
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That’s interesting. I just spoke with the owner of West Monroe Tire. He and his son have offered me free tire rotation, free air and a lifetime replacement policy of all 4 tires if I ever have a flat. Plus they offer free roadside assistance at no extra charge!
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09-29-2022, 07:10 PM
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#3317
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Director, FROG
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Middlebury, IN
Posts: 3,515
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JWood422
That’s interesting. I just spoke with the owner of West Monroe Tire. He and his son have offered me free tire rotation, free air and a lifetime replacement policy of all 4 tires if I ever have a flat. Plus they offer free roadside assistance at no extra charge!
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You are SOOO going to be a Monday story when you go to claim your reward, no matter what day it might be.
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09-29-2022, 07:14 PM
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#3318
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Part-Time Campground Host
Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 3,186
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire
Why did the crab cross the road?
It didn't, it used the sidewalk
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Was it blue?
__________________
Craig & Cath
2018 2902WS Rockwood Ultra Lite (with tons of Mods)
2022 F250 Lariat Super Cab, 7.3 gas w/10 Spd Xmsn
Equalizer Hitch w/4-Point Sway Control
Days camped since 2015(retirement): 1680
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09-29-2022, 07:28 PM
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#3319
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Director, FROG
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Middlebury, IN
Posts: 3,515
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire
Dang you Bob, now I will be singing that song you got that line from all day.
"And the crowd scattered as Hugo...."
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Actually, that's a line my Dad used to use long before anyone had heard of Ray Stevens. The first time I heard him say it, I laughed so hard I almost kicked a slat out of my crib! 
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09-29-2022, 07:49 PM
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#3320
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 1,105
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Quote:
Originally Posted by F.R.O.G.
Actually, that's a line my Dad used to use long before anyone had heard of Ray Stevens. The first time I heard him say it, I laughed so hard I almost kicked a slat out of my crib! |
Jim Stafford is another great one for quotable song lyrics:
"'Cause the killer had killed her daddy
Just for spittin' in the road
And you only had to kill Patti's daddy once
To get that gal PO'd"
__________________
-Qwkynuf
2003 F150 Supercab 4x4, tow pkg, 3.55 gears
2020 Flagstaff Micro Lite 21DS
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