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08-30-2012, 03:25 PM
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#1
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Site Team - Lou
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: South Eastern PA
Posts: 23,269
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Pilots
Pilots: People who drive airplanes for other people who can't fly.
Fighter Pilots: Cold, steely eyed, weapons systems managers who kill bad people and break things. However, they can also be very charming and personable. The average Fighter Pilot, despite sometimes having a swaggering exterior, is very much capable of such feelings as love, affection, intimacy and caring. These feelings just don't involve anyone else.
Words of Wisdom From Aviators:
• Flying is a hard way to earn an easy living.
• Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the airplane; the pessimist, the parachute.
If helicopters are so safe, how come there are no vintage helicopter fly-ins?
Death is just nature's way of telling you to watch your airspeed.
Real planes use only a single stick to fly. This is why bulldozers and helicopters (in that order) need two.
There are only three things the copilot should ever say:
1. Nice landing, Sir.
2. I'll buy the first round.
3. I'll take the fat one.
As a pilot only two bad things can happen to you and one of them will:
a. One day you will walk out to the aircraft knowing that it is your last flight.
b. One day you will walk out to the aircraft not knowing that it is your last flight.
There are Rules and there are Laws:
The Rules are made by men who think that they know better how to fly your airplane than you. Laws (of Physics) were ordained by God.
You can, and sometimes should, suspend the Rules, but you can never suspend the Laws.
About Rules:
a. The rules are a good place to hide if you don't have a better idea and the talent to execute it.
b. If you deviate from a rule, it must be a flawless performance (e.g., If you fly under a bridge, don't hit the bridge.)
The ideal pilot is the perfect blend of discipline and aggressiveness.
The medical profession is the natural enemy of the aviation profession.
Ever notice that the only experts who decree that the age of the pilot is over are people who have never flown anything? Also, in spite of the intensity of their feelings that the pilot's day is over, I know of no expert who has volunteered to be a passenger in a non-piloted aircraft.
Before each flight, make sure that your bladder is empty and your fuel tanks are full; check Take Off weight....
He who demands everything that his aircraft can give him is a pilot; he that demands one iota more is a fool.
There are certain aircraft sounds that can only be heard at night.
The aircraft limits are only there in case there is another flight by that particular aircraft. If subsequent flights do not appear likely, there are no limits.
Flying is a great way of life for men who want to feel like boys, but not for those who still are.
"If the Wright brothers were alive today, Wilbur would have to fire Orville to reduce costs." President, DELTA Airlines.
In the Alaskan bush I'd rather have a two-hour bladder and three hours of gas than vice versa.
It's not that all airplane pilots are good-looking. It's just that good-looking people seem more capable of flying airplanes.
An old pilot is one who can remember when flying was dangerous and sex was safe.
Airlines have really changed, now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant.
I've flown in both pilot seats, can someone tell me why the other one is always occupied by an idiot?
Son, you're going to have to make up your mind about growing up and becoming a pilot. You can't do both.
There are only two types of aircraft - fighters and targets.
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline baggage.
You define a good flight by negatives: you didn't get hijacked, you didn't crash, you didn't throw up, you weren't late, and you weren't nauseated by the food. So you're grateful.
They invented wheelbarrows to teach FAA inspectors to walk on their hind legs.
The FAA Motto: We're not happy till you're not happy. More recent version is: Its not fair and we don't care!
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
__________________
Lou & Freya the wonder dog
2008 GMC Sierra 3000HD Allison Duramax
2019 Flagstaff 8529FL
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08-30-2012, 03:40 PM
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#2
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
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Quote:
Originally Posted by herk7769
If helicopters are so safe, how come there are no vintage helicopter fly-ins?
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My favorite one.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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08-30-2012, 03:45 PM
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#3
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Keller, Texas
Posts: 6,090
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Quote:
Originally Posted by herk7769
Pilots: People who drive airplanes for other people who can't fly.
Fighter Pilots: Cold, steely eyed, weapons systems managers who kill bad people and break things. However, they can also be very charming and personable. The average Fighter Pilot, despite sometimes having a swaggering exterior, is very much capable of such feelings as love, affection, intimacy and caring. These feelings just don't involve anyone else.
Words of Wisdom From Aviators:
• Flying is a hard way to earn an easy living.
• Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the airplane; the pessimist, the parachute.
If helicopters are so safe, how come there are no vintage helicopter fly-ins?
Death is just nature's way of telling you to watch your airspeed.
Real planes use only a single stick to fly. This is why bulldozers and helicopters (in that order) need two.
There are only three things the copilot should ever say:
1. Nice landing, Sir.
2. I'll buy the first round.
3. I'll take the fat one.
As a pilot only two bad things can happen to you and one of them will:
a. One day you will walk out to the aircraft knowing that it is your last flight.
b. One day you will walk out to the aircraft not knowing that it is your last flight.
There are Rules and there are Laws:
The Rules are made by men who think that they know better how to fly your airplane than you. Laws (of Physics) were ordained by God.
You can, and sometimes should, suspend the Rules, but you can never suspend the Laws.
About Rules:
a. The rules are a good place to hide if you don't have a better idea and the talent to execute it.
b. If you deviate from a rule, it must be a flawless performance (e.g., If you fly under a bridge, don't hit the bridge.)
The ideal pilot is the perfect blend of discipline and aggressiveness.
The medical profession is the natural enemy of the aviation profession.
Ever notice that the only experts who decree that the age of the pilot is over are people who have never flown anything? Also, in spite of the intensity of their feelings that the pilot's day is over, I know of no expert who has volunteered to be a passenger in a non-piloted aircraft.
Before each flight, make sure that your bladder is empty and your fuel tanks are full; check Take Off weight....
He who demands everything that his aircraft can give him is a pilot; he that demands one iota more is a fool.
There are certain aircraft sounds that can only be heard at night.
The aircraft limits are only there in case there is another flight by that particular aircraft. If subsequent flights do not appear likely, there are no limits.
Flying is a great way of life for men who want to feel like boys, but not for those who still are.
"If the Wright brothers were alive today, Wilbur would have to fire Orville to reduce costs." President, DELTA Airlines.
In the Alaskan bush I'd rather have a two-hour bladder and three hours of gas than vice versa.
It's not that all airplane pilots are good-looking. It's just that good-looking people seem more capable of flying airplanes.
An old pilot is one who can remember when flying was dangerous and sex was safe.
Airlines have really changed, now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant.
I've flown in both pilot seats, can someone tell me why the other one is always occupied by an idiot?
Son, you're going to have to make up your mind about growing up and becoming a pilot. You can't do both.
There are only two types of aircraft - fighters and targets.
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline baggage.
You define a good flight by negatives: you didn't get hijacked, you didn't crash, you didn't throw up, you weren't late, and you weren't nauseated by the food. So you're grateful.
They invented wheelbarrows to teach FAA inspectors to walk on their hind legs.
The FAA Motto: We're not happy till you're not happy. More recent version is: Its not fair and we don't care!
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
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Two more -
Two things that a pilot can't use - fuel left in the tanker truck and runway left behind.
The only difference between a single engine aircraft and a multi engine aircraft is the multi engine aircraft gets you to the accident scene a bit sooner.
And regarding the FAA motto - it is still "We're not happy till your not happy." It hasn't been revised.
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08-31-2012, 08:12 AM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Knoxville, TN
Posts: 848
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Quote:
Originally Posted by herk7769
There are only three things the copilot should ever say:
1. Nice landing, Sir.
2. I'll buy the first round.
3. I'll take the fat one.
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Almost spit my coffee on my keyboard when reading #3
__________________
2015 Chevy 3500HD
2013 Sandpiper 365SAQ
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08-31-2012, 09:08 AM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: TN
Posts: 645
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When I worked for the FAA the motto's were;
I from the government and I'm here to help... (We lived by Sarcasm)
or
A break refused is a break abused...
__________________
Russ & Kim
2014 Alpine 3600RS
2007 Dodge Ram 3500 5.9 4X4
2008 Harley Davidson Road King 105th Anniversary
(2011-5 bad year)(2012-40)(2013-45)(2014-23)
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08-31-2012, 09:26 AM
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#6
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Mod free 5er
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Concord, NC
Posts: 24,702
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Quote:
Originally Posted by herk7769
...The average Fighter Pilot, despite sometimes having a swaggering exterior, is very much capable of such feelings as love, affection, intimacy and caring. These feelings just don't involve anyone else.
...
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I take it you're saying that Fighter Pilots are "Full of Themselves"?
__________________
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08-31-2012, 09:43 AM
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#7
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Phat Phrog Stunt Team
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Iowa
Posts: 34,507
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dunnnc
I take it you're saying that Fighter Pilots are "Full of Themselves"?
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There not ? Lol
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08-31-2012, 09:51 AM
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#8
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,015
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Love it, just Love it.
__________________
Deb and Phil
Anna Belle
2016 Toyota Tundra
2011 Greywolf 26rl
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08-31-2012, 11:03 AM
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#9
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Fort Worth
Posts: 664
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During a commercial airline flight an experienced Air Force Pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms. When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible.
The pilot pretended not to notice, and, upon disembarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related items.
When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded, "Gosh, that's a good looking baby, and he sure was hungry!"
Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said that the time spent on the breast would help alleviate the pressure in the baby's ears.
The Air Force Pilot sadly shook his head, and in true pilot fashion exclaimed, "And all these years, I've been chewing gum."
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08-31-2012, 11:19 AM
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#10
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Site Team - Lou
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: South Eastern PA
Posts: 23,269
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joenic53
During a commercial airline flight an experienced Air Force Pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms. When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible.
The pilot pretended not to notice, and, upon disembarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related items.
When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded, "Gosh, that's a good looking baby, and he sure was hungry!"
Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said that the time spent on the breast would help alleviate the pressure in the baby's ears.
The Air Force Pilot sadly shook his head, and in true pilot fashion exclaimed, "And all these years, I've been chewing gum."
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<sigh> Me too...
__________________
Lou & Freya the wonder dog
2008 GMC Sierra 3000HD Allison Duramax
2019 Flagstaff 8529FL
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09-16-2012, 08:12 PM
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#11
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BB
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Magnolia, Texas
Posts: 39
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How do you know when thier is a pilot in the room?
He will tell everyone.
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09-16-2012, 10:09 PM
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#12
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Site Team - Lou
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: South Eastern PA
Posts: 23,269
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rotorhead102
How do you know when thier is a pilot in the room?
He will tell everyone.
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Ain't THAT the truth...
__________________
Lou & Freya the wonder dog
2008 GMC Sierra 3000HD Allison Duramax
2019 Flagstaff 8529FL
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09-16-2012, 11:23 PM
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#13
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Too old to be too smart
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: La La Land
Posts: 439
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You can always tell a pilot.
You can't tell him very much, but you can always tell a pilot.....
Pop.
__________________
Terry 250RKS, perfect for the two of us and the pups.
2000 F-350 7.3L CC/LB 4WD Lariat 3.73's
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09-16-2012, 11:25 PM
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#14
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Too old to be too smart
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: La La Land
Posts: 439
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There are old pilots,
and bold pilots.
But no old, bold pilots.
Pop
__________________
Terry 250RKS, perfect for the two of us and the pups.
2000 F-350 7.3L CC/LB 4WD Lariat 3.73's
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09-17-2012, 09:39 AM
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#15
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Site Team - Lou
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: South Eastern PA
Posts: 23,269
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By the ring around his eyeball, you can tell a Bombardier;
You can tell a transport pilot by the spread around his rear;
You can tell a Navigator, by his maps and charts and such;
You can tell a fighter pilot; but you can not tell him much.
(Can be sung to "My eyes have seen the glory" tune)
or not...
For the Maintainers out there:
Oh, the flyers get the glory,
And they draw the flying pay,
They swagger all around the field,
And have a LOT to say.
But, I'll tell you all a secret,
And I'll certify its true;
A flier isn't worth a damn,
Without a good Ground Crew...
(Sung to "Battle Hymn of the Republic" tune)
Or not...
__________________
Lou & Freya the wonder dog
2008 GMC Sierra 3000HD Allison Duramax
2019 Flagstaff 8529FL
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09-17-2012, 07:54 PM
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#16
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BB
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Magnolia, Texas
Posts: 39
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Couldn't agree more Lou. Your ground crew and mechanics are your best friends.
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10-01-2012, 02:51 PM
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#17
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Broken Toe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Imperial (St. Louis) MO
Posts: 3,745
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My favorite aviation quote:
"The Piper J3 Cub is the safest aircraft ever made. It can just barely go fast enough to kill you"
(I had a Chevy Chevette like that, too)
Tim
__________________
FROG Member MO-0008-571 Since 20124444444444My Project Blog: https://cowracer.blogspot.com/
"Camper" 2016 Rockwood Signature Ultralite 8329ss
"Casper" 2017 Ram 2500 Laramie Diesel
..ProPride 3P Hitch - "Yeah. It's worth it."
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10-02-2012, 02:24 AM
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#18
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Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 97
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The definition of a GOOD pilot is one with the same number of landings as take-offs!!!
__________________
If you can't wake up with a smile on your face, go to bed with a coat hanger in your mouth!!
2005 Ford F150 5.4
2011 Salem 21FBS
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