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Selling Bibles
Trying not to offend anyone but I know it is an impossible task so here is my latest contribution anyway.
(If this doesn't make you laugh, just go ahead and close your casket!)
A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom,
he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed.
So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles
door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.
Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.
The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles.
But he had serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself because he was
embarrassed by his speech impediment.
Poor Louie stuttered badly. But, NOT WANTING TO discourage Louie, the minister decided to let him try anyway.
He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with bibles. He asked them to meet with him
and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.
Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Jack, 'Well, Jack, how did you make out
selling our bibles last week?'
Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, 'Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and
here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the church.'
'Fine job, Jack!' The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand... 'You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is
indebted to you.'
Turning to Paul, 'And Paul, how many bibles did you sell for the Church last week?'
Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, 'I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 bibles on behalf
of the church, and here's $280 I collected.'
The minister responded, 'That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is
indebted to you.'
Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, 'And Louie, did you manage to sell any bibles last week?'
Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope.
The minister opened it and counted the contents. 'What is this?' the minister exclaimed. 'Louie, there's $3200 in here!
Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week?'
Louie just nodded.
'That's impossible!' both Jack and Paul said in unison. 'We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold
10 times as many bibles as we could.'
'Yes, this does seem unlikely,' the minister agreed. 'I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie.'
Louie shrugged... 'I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure,' he stammered.
Impatiently, Peter interrupted. 'For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!'
'A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was,' Louis replied, 'W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this
b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here
and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you??'
Remember when the funniest jokes were the clean ones?
They still are!
__________________
"Well that didn't go as expected"
2015 Chev 2500HD Highcountry Duramax
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Rest in Peace Mary my darling wife.
Scottish by birth Canadian by time.
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