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Old 07-03-2016, 10:40 PM   #1
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The things that my mother has taught me...

I OWE MY MOTHER......*

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."*

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."*

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"*

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."*

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."*

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."*

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."*

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."*

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"*

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."*

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."*

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"*

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."*

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"*

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."*

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."*

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"*

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."*
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Old 07-13-2016, 10:16 PM   #2
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All true.
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Old 07-13-2016, 10:39 PM   #3
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My mother always said... "You can get married when you can't get nothing else!"

She said lots of stuff like that

Like. The truth hurts son.


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Old 07-14-2016, 08:47 AM   #4
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When I started taking swim lessons as a young boy at the Y my mom would say to me as I walked out the door, "You stay out of that water until you learn how to swim". From then on, she would say that to me just before any big event in my life, such as going off to collage or getting married. I think I finally figured out what she meant.
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Old 07-14-2016, 09:27 AM   #5
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My mom would let me 'fall down' a couple times while growing up. By doing that she taught me to pick myself up, dust myself off and try again.
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Old 07-14-2016, 09:36 AM   #6
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Mom and Dad always told us,"Your judged by the company you keep" has worked well for us! Youroo!!
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