You Might Be A Yankee If......

[wmtire]

We all hear those "you might be a redneck if..." jokes, so what about the opposite?

I saw this and got to thinking about the RC Cola and Moonpie discussion we had the other week in another forum.

So this is dedicated to all my friends on the wrong side of the Mason Dixon.

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YOU JUST MIGHT BE A YANKEE IF:

You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."

You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY!

You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.

For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits.

You don't know what a moon pie is.

You've never had an RC cola.

You've never, ever, eaten okra, fried or boiled.

You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.

You have no idea what a polecat is.

You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.

You don't have bangs.

You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.

More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the same prep school in Connecticut.

You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.

Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.

You don't think Ted Kennedy has an accent.

You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show.

You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.

You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an on-ramp to the highway.

You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.

The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman Marcus.

You call binoculars opera glasses.

You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.

You would never wear pink or an applique sweatshirt.

You don't know what applique is.

You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i. e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice, et al).

You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.

You've never been to a craft show.

You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.

You can do your laundry without quarters.

None of your fur coats are homemade.

[dkb74]

Ha!

As a Midwesterner who has lived in the "fake south" (i.e. Florida) for 12 years, but lived in VA and married a Southerner, it's fun to have both perspectives. I definitely could relate to many of those until I moved to VA.

I still don't like grits. Unless the bacon and cheese disguises them to the point they can no longer be recognizable!

[TURBS]

Thanks I enjoyed.....
Some true some not phor me

Love grits
Drink rc now and again

[Cajun Po-Boy]

Awesome!

[Broadway Joe]

Hate grits, but have drank a Dr Pepper for breakfast.

[Wiscampsin]

Thanks for posting that. I'll add one:

You never owned a pickup with a gun rack.

[OldCoot]

Every one of them are true and a Southerner that doesn't like grits is still a Yankee. Might be a Damn Yankee, but still a Yankee.
Add a couple more: Thinks fried catfish is horrible
Thinks hush puppies are shoes


Difference between a Yankee and a Damn Yankee? Yankee is a northerner that comes down south on vacation and goes back home and a Damn Yankee is a Yankee that comes down south on vacation and stays.

[wmtire]

I just posted another joke about Northerners moving to the South. If you enjoyed this one, you should also find the other one humorous.

http://www.forestriverforums.com/for...tml#post366923

[TURBS]

Originally Posted by OldCoot

Every one of them are true and a Southerner that doesn't like grits is still a Yankee. Might be a Damn Yankee, but still a Yankee.

Difference between a Yankee and a Damn Yankee? Yankee is a northerner that comes down south on vacation and goes back home and a Damn Yankee is a Yankee that comes down south on vacation and stays.

Your delirious.

[Cajun Po-Boy]

Originally Posted by f1100turbo

your delirious.

[TURBS]

Originally Posted by Ragin Cajun

You hit the nail right on the head brutha!

[wmtire]

Originally Posted by OldCoot

Thinks hush puppies are shoes

That's great

[dwaynerz]

so, if I put butter and sugar on my grits, im a yankee? tried salt and pepper before, but couldn't see what all the fuss was about.

according to your list, part of me is a yankee, and part of me is a redneck. no need to fear tho, as I wont be a dam yankee for several more years.

does any northeners know the difference between a yankee and a dam yankee? it was explained to me years ago by someone in la (lower Alabama)

[wmtire]

A few more:


You think a Pole Cat is a dude that was born in Poland.

You have to get the last word in. And it normally has 4 letters in it.

Half of your vocabulary is made up of curse words.

You don’t think any of the jokes on this site are funny.

The state you were born in or live in participated in the war of northern aggression.

You have never driven anywhere without using your horn.

You don’t understand why people in restaurants don’t talk as loud as you.

You consider being polite a weakness.


You’ll hang up on someone but be offended if anyone turns their back to you.

You pull over to look at farm animals.

You think a Yankee is a baseball player.

It makes you angry that your parents are still alive. And your kids feel the same way.

You buy an expensive car and then park it on the street.

You have had to ask a homeless person to wake up and get out of your car so you can go to work.

You’ve never cooked outside on a grill. Better yet, you’ve never cooked.

You think all cars are yellow and have a light on top.

You think okra is a talk show host.

You can be surrounded by crime and “didn’t see a thing!!”

[B47]

Originally Posted by dwaynerz

so, if I put butter and sugar on my grits, im a yankee? tried salt and pepper before, but couldn't see what all the fuss was about.

according to your list, part of me is a yankee, and part of me is a redneck. no need to fear tho, as I wont be a dam yankee for several more years.

does any northeners know the difference between a yankee and a dam yankee? it was explained to me years ago by someone in la (lower Alabama)

See post # 7 for one definition of a Yankee and a DY.

[dwaynerz]

that was the explanation given to me. I thought it was the only definition. oh yeah, and bless your heart (I know what that means too).

[B47]

Four things that I had to get used to after moving to Texas in 1969:

1. People saying they going to "carry" someone or were "carrying" someone rather than saying I will give you a lift or gave someone a ride to somewhere.

2. People calling a pond or a big hole in the ground that contains water such as on a ranch a "tank".

3. People calling milk "sweet milk".

4. People giving directions by saying "you go east" 4 miles or "go south 4 miles and then turn south". I was used to people saying " you go right at the traffic light and then turn left"

I married a native Texan girl who came from a small central Texas town and this was how her parents talked.

[OldCoot]

Originally Posted by dwaynerz

so, if I put butter and sugar on my grits, im a yankee? tried salt and pepper before, but couldn't see what all the fuss was about.

according to your list, part of me is a yankee, and part of me is a redneck. no need to fear tho, as I wont be a dam yankee for several more years.

does any northeners know the difference between a yankee and a dam yankee? it was explained to me years ago by someone in la (lower Alabama)

You're a Yankee cuz ya'll live in ILLINOIS. When ya'll get out of thar, you can become a Damn Yankee. We'll be waitin' and welcum to God's county in a few yers.

[OldCoot]

Originally Posted by B47

Four things that I had to get used to after moving to Texas in 1969:

1. People saying they going to "carry" someone or were "carrying" someone rather than saying I will give you a lift or gave someone a ride to somewhere.

2. People calling a pond or a big hole in the ground that contains water such as on a ranch a "tank".

3. People calling milk "sweet milk".

4. People giving directions by saying "you go east" 4 miles or "go south 4 miles and then turn south". I was used to people saying " you go right at the traffic light and then turn left"

I married a native Texan girl who came from a small central Texas town and this was how her parents talked.

And a 'poke' is a sack to carry grub in.
And poke salad is edible.

[B47]

Originally Posted by OldCoot

And a 'poke' is a sack to carry grub in.
And poke salad is edible.

Yeah those are two more, but I have to say that as a kid growing up in a rural area in upstate NY, I remember "city people" coming out and cutting fresh dandelions that grew along the road and making a delicious salad with them.