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Search took 0.00 seconds. Search: Posts Made By: Dano1955
Forum: Jokes and Humor 11-05-2018, 09:59 AM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
I knew it was time for a divorce the day I...

I knew it was time for a divorce the day I realized my wife would unplug my life support to charge her cell phone.
Forum: Jokes and Humor 09-17-2018, 06:15 PM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
They say women live longer than men. Why...

They say women live longer than men.

Why wouldn't they?

They've always known the way to a man's heart attack is through his stomach...
Forum: Jokes and Humor 04-28-2018, 06:28 PM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
One afternoon a man came home from work to find...

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all...
Forum: Jokes and Humor 04-28-2018, 11:55 AM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
Husband’s note on the refrigerator to his wife: ...

Husband’s note on the refrigerator to his wife:

“Doctor’s office called: Said Pabst beer is normal”
Forum: Jokes and Humor 04-28-2018, 11:54 AM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
WHAT WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF MEN REALLY RULED THE...

WHAT WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF MEN REALLY RULED THE WORLD

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.

Nodding and looking at your watch would be...
Forum: Jokes and Humor 01-12-2018, 09:56 AM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
A French Teacher was explaining to her class that...

A French Teacher was explaining to her class that in French, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. E.g. 'house' is feminine - 'la maison', 'Pencil' is masculine - 'le...
Forum: Jokes and Humor 01-12-2018, 09:53 AM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
A man and his wife were having some problems at...

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for...
Forum: Jokes and Humor 01-12-2018, 09:51 AM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
A husband read an article to his wife that...

A husband read an article to his wife that explained that women use 30,000 words a day compared to a man's use of 15,000 words.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat...
Forum: Jokes and Humor 01-12-2018, 09:50 AM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
A couple drove down a country road for several...

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard...
Forum: Jokes and Humor 01-12-2018, 09:49 AM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with...

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened as the instructor explained, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and...
Forum: Jokes and Humor 01-12-2018, 09:48 AM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll...

I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider
Forum: Jokes and Humor 01-12-2018, 09:47 AM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN: Wine her, Dine...

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:

Wine her,
Dine her,
Call her,
Hug her,
Support her,
Hold her,
Surprise her,
Compliment her,
Forum: Jokes and Humor 10-19-2017, 05:37 PM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
It's not hard, just expensive. But then...

It's not hard, just expensive.

But then again, it's worth it.....
Forum: Jokes and Humor 09-06-2017, 02:58 PM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
My seatmate on a flight was a woman. Ever the...

My seatmate on a flight was a woman. Ever the charmer, I asked, “Does the airline charge you extra for sitting next to good-looking men?”

“Yes,” she said, “but I wasn’t willing to pay extra .”
Forum: Jokes and Humor 09-06-2017, 02:54 PM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
I told my girlfriend that it looked like she was...

I told my girlfriend that it looked like she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised
Forum: Jokes and Humor 09-06-2017, 02:53 PM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
I used to date a hoarder, and she broke up with...

I used to date a hoarder, and she broke up with me. That stings extra hard—I’m like the one thing she can get rid of
Forum: Jokes and Humor 09-06-2017, 02:51 PM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
What my girlfriend thought about our 1st 4 dates

1. Nice shirt.

2. Wow. A second nice shirt.

3. OK, first shirt again.

4. He has two shirts.
Forum: Jokes and Humor 09-06-2017, 02:49 PM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how...

My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are.

But I laugh more
Forum: Jokes and Humor 09-01-2017, 11:50 AM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
Famous People.....

Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers.

My wife was afraid of the dark... then she...
Forum: Jokes and Humor 08-27-2017, 01:36 PM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
Really Tire Man?? 3:26 in the morning? What...

Really Tire Man?? 3:26 in the morning? What are you the on call admin/jokester or what?

:roflblack:
Forum: Jokes and Humor 08-16-2017, 01:52 PM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
The difference between being in a relationship...

The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prison they let you play softball on the weekends.
Forum: Jokes and Humor 08-16-2017, 01:49 PM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
I just broke up with my girl friend, I caught her...

I just broke up with my girl friend, I caught her lying… under another man.
Forum: Jokes and Humor 08-16-2017, 01:48 PM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
Bachelor: A person who believes in life, liberty,...

Bachelor: A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.
Forum: Jokes and Humor 08-16-2017, 01:48 PM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
My mother had something kind of like ‘time out;' ...

My mother had something kind of like ‘time out;'

It was called ‘knock out.'
Forum: Jokes and Humor 08-06-2017, 12:27 PM
Replies: 3,145
Views: 819,401
Posted By Dano1955
My wife doesn't care for fishing and doesn't much...

My wife doesn't care for fishing and doesn't much like boondocking. So when I go I always take my dog. She always asks "Why don't you leave the dog here?'

One day I questioned her about always...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 46
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